Category: making ends meet

Confessions of a Caregiver

I have been reading a lot about caregiver burnout lately. I have friends who have people in their lives who they are caring for. I hear them tell me it is more and more difficult to keep going because they too are tired and need help themselves. Still being a dedicated caregiver means they carry on because there are no real alternatives unless there is money available to invest in paid service providers. Even then if they have the resources the demand is getting greater and the supply is limited. Not everyone has the extra money to spend though. So many caregivers are putting their own health at risk while caring for someone else in their family or a dear friend. Community resources are very limited right now and in some cases long wait lists are a barrier to getting the support needed.

All this can also lead to elder abuse which is also an even bigger problem in our communities right now. As a growing population of seniors age and become more and more isolated from family and friends they are at greater risk of being ignored and neglected. Many of them have lost interest and live with severe depression or worse, dementia. They are not able to access the supports they need or even to ask for help. It is a very sad reflection on how our society views the important role our elders can play in our society.

As we age, more and more demand is put on self care as the only means to continue living with dignity. What if you are a single woman, living independently. What if you have chronic medical conditions such as diabetes, hearing loss, arthritis and diet sensitivities such as dairy or gluten. What if you are living on a very low fixed income and are doing everything you can to manage your finances.

I confess that I am living with all those conditions and more. Sometimes I feel burned out. Taking care of myself is a full time job. There are days when I just want to quit the job and find a better one that is more fun. If only that were possible…hahaha…. By the time I take care of myself, my finances, and my home I have very little reserves left for other things.

So what I am learning in this process?

  • I am learning to be very grateful for my body that carries me through life relatively pain free rather than bemoaning it.
  • I am learning to be grateful for the amazing care team of doctors who monitor my health conditions and help me to stay on track. So many of my friends who are in similar situations are not so lucky.
  • I am being reminded that if I want to have fun I need to find it in the process of my daily living
  • I am looking to find a hobby that I can do at home on a tight budget that is fun for me to do
  • I am learning to do things slowly and steadily until everything is taken care of
  • I am learning to keep reaching out to my friends and staying in contact with my family
  • I am learning that taking a day off to just rest and restore from time to time is good self care
  • I am learning that having a Spiritual practice really helps me stay focused and present in the now
  • I am learning to laugh at and with myself more when I hear myself whining or complaining and to give myself more love

So dear readers whether you are a caregiver for someone else or for yourself or both, take time out to be grateful and kind to yourself. Learn to laugh at the antics of your wounded self and to love yourself even more because you are so worth it. If you are aware of a senior living alone take a minute to check in on them from time to time. Just knowing that someone is thinking about you can make all the difference.

Have a great day!

Posted on by Beth 4

Nature’s Lessons: Encounters with ‘Squirrel TV’ from My Living Room

My living room window looks out onto two large trees. They are planted side by side along with some smaller trees. It is interesting to see how these trees reach out and touch each other. The branches interwoven make it easy for the squirrels to run up and down their trunks. They also jump from branch to branch and tree to tree. It is quite entertaining to watch. There is a large nest at the top of one tree. I imagine the squirrels rest there when they are not busy chasing each other.

Sitting in my chair, I look out the window. I take great pleasure in watching the activities of at least two squirrels. One of the trees is a chestnut tree so this time of year the squirrels are busy gathering the nuts. If anyone happens to be standing under the tree, they could be bombarded with a nut or two. The same may happen if anyone is walking on the sidewalk. I have seen it happen. Quite startling to the victim.

Some days I find myself wanting to sit back and relax in my recliner. I take time out to watch “squirrel tv”. One can learn a lot about how to play and exercise from these little creatures. The more I study them and their interactions with each other the more fun I see them having. Maybe it is not fun for squirrels to chase each other. Maybe it is not a game at all. I don’t know that much about the behaviour of squirrels. Right now I just enjoy watching them.

What I know is that outside my window, there is a wonderful example of the interdependence of nature. It is just steps from the building I live in. Birds, animals, trees, sun, rain, wind, and earth all depend on each other. Watching how everything lives together in one small part of the yard provides me with much to consider. Paying close attention to it gives me lots to contemplate.

I don’t have to watch a documentary on regular tv or travel miles outside the city to see it. It is right here in my own front yard visible from the comfort of my recliner chair.

So what am I learning from watching “squirrel tv”?

  1. It is good to live close together. The trees in the yard are growing close enough together so they branch out and touch one another. When it is really windy they bend and sway and support one another. As humans we need to be close enough to prop each other up when the winds of change blow hard.
  2. Find someone to play with. Watching squirrels chase each other up and down the trees. They leap across branches and repeat the process over and over again. This reminds me to get up and move and do it playfully.
  3. Take time to groom yourself. I often seen the squirrels sitting on a branch grooming themselves. They take great care in doing so. The ones who are mangy looking are not doing well. Isn’t that what it is like for all of us. When we feel good we take care of ourselves and when our energy is focused elsewhere we let things go. Still we feel better when we are well groomed.
  4. Have a nest to go home to. High in the tree is a large nest made of broken branches and leaves. It is built upon three branches that grow out from the trunk of the tall evergreen. Isn’t it great how the tree supports the nest? The squirrel has a place to gather food. It also has a place to sleep at night out of sight from predators. We all need a safe place to go to when our day is done.

So dear readers. Those are just a few lessons in life that I have been reminded of by the squirrels outside my window. As the seasons change, the trees will start to let go of their leaves. The view outside my window will evolve. I look ahead to seeing how the squirrels adapt. Stay tuned for more messages from “Squirrel TV”. Till next time……

Posted on by Beth 0