If Ever There Was…..

If ever there was a time in my life to feel unhinged now would be it.  I have been through so much and seen so much adversity in my life that it seems almost impossible to imagine feeling so unhinged at this time when things are so settled for me.  Still I am feeling it.  

There is so much evidence to show how hope is lacking in this world right now. I need to feel it and find it for myself.  We are plagued with messages of despair that are seen around the world.  Yet in and amongst all that rhetoric there is hidden the undeniable truth that love is greater than fear.

This Sunday I heard our minister preach on the story of Ruth and Naomi showing us how in the thrust of such an unfriendly and unfathomable prejudice against women and against foreigners there was a love so deep that nothing could separate them.  I believe that we are moving through a time of such huge divisiveness that we can hardly find that centre point.  I want to trust that the love we have for ourselves will translate into love of neighbour.  I want to trust that the love of God can carry us all through this time of great debate and ultimately learn through diversity.  Still my hope and trust is being challenged in ways I have no answers for.  Where is that middle point?  How do we rise above the terror and tension we are feeling these days to see the bigger picture and envision a brighter future.  

My own personal anxiety has been escalating over the past several days without warning or any particular thoughts going through my mind.   Still my heart is feeling it and I know it is the collective thrust of anger that is driving it.  Anger that is really a cover up for fear of what is coming next.  We are all, in this part of the world where I live, hanging on the edge of what is about to be a world altering event — the election in the United States.  Never in my lifetime do I remember being so fearful about what is happening so close to home.  I am also so sad that we can not have open and honest conversations about our own perspectives and being able to hear those who share a different perspective without feeling divided and separated from one another.  There is this us and them mentality that is permeating the air we breathe and even if we step away and isolate ourselves it is still there.  As a sensitive soul I feel it regardless and it is unearthing so much confusion and steadfast fear of the otherness that I am not able to embrace it with it love.  It is like a black cloud is hovering over me.  I am stuck on the fence trying to stay neutral. Yet I am falling off from time to time and losing my grip on reality.

If ever there was a time when prayer and quiet were needed now is it.  I need to feel that deep abiding love that transcends all else and can bring me back to my own love and light in this world.  I want to light candles and give the world a huge hug.  I want to remind myself and others that we are not alone in this and that no matter our spiritual expression there is hope that we can live on and trust in the greater good of all humankind.

My mind is so confused right now about the turmoil in the middle east and the fight for a greater good in the Ukraine.  There is so much fighting and waring happening in places I know not of and yet I feel it in my heart.  Please God take this pain and hurt that we are inflicting upon each other and ultimately upon ourselves and transform it with us and for us.  

If ever there was a time when we need to reach out to one another and give thanks for our relationship now is the time.  We need to hold each others hands and keep on moving forward.  We need to stand with each other and hold up the sky with kindness and compassion for ourselves and one another no matter our differences, no matter our fears, there is something much greater at work here and when we tap into that we can hold the space together.

Our children’s future is at stake here and we can not let them down.  Our grandchildren came into this world with their own bright lights and are here to remind us that life on earth is precious and not to be squandered away on divisiveness.  We can take different roads and have different ways of finding our way home.  We can do it together and alone.  Whatever road or way we choose let us be understanding and seek peace within our differences.  Let us be examples to the upcoming generation of how to live with one another in the Global Community we currently reside in.  Let us live the message of hope and continue to share with one another the gift of life giving peace that passes all understanding by loving each other.  May we find Joy again in the living of our hope and may we know within ourselves that which transcends the human world and takes us to the soul world where we are all one with each other.

May it be so!

Posted on by Beth 0

The Allure of Fresh Baked Bread: A Staple of Home and Comfort

What is it about bread that draws us in? What makes us want to grab a slice and slather it with butter? There is nothing that feels quite like home more than the smell of fresh baked bread. In the days when people made their own bread from scratch, there was always a fresh loaf ready to be baked. Or there was always one just out of the oven. Today there are many people who own a bread maker. My daughter is one of them. What a treat to be able to walk in the house. Or wake up in the morning and be met with the smell of warm bread wafting through the air.

We had a tradition on Sunday afternoon in my house when I was growing up. My sister would make a big batch of bread dough and leave it sitting on the hearth of our fireplace. We would watch either golf or football with our dad. When the dough had risen sufficiently she would punch it down, knead it and let it rise a second time. An hour later it was ready to bake and we had warm bread fresh out of the oven with our dinner. What a real treat!

I loved the hard, crispy crust and the soft doughy inside of her bread. I loved how the butter soaked into the middle. It left a delicious taste in my mouth. I wanted another bite right away. Sometimes we had soup or stew. We used the bread to sop up the liquid or dunk it in the bowl. One restaurant I went to had a round loaf of bread. It was hollowed out and served their hardy soups and stews in it. I thought that was genius.

No matter where you go in the world, every culture has their version of bread. Examples include crusty Italian loaves, French baguettes, croissants, naan, pita, and roti. Bread is a staple of life all around the western world. I don’t know about China and Japan though. They are more about rice or noodles as a staple. Correct me if I am wrong.

Some people prefer pastries and sweets over a slice of bread. Not me. I could live on bread. Scriptures refer to the “bread of life”. We often hear about old folks who live on tea and toast, another favourite way to eat bread.

Bread has become a commodity that is sold in great quantities across North America. The production of bread has been taken up by large factory like assembly lines. The bread itself is filled with preservatives to make it last longer. It also contains all kinds of ingredients to supposedly make it taste better. Think of Wonder Bread for instance. It is soft doughy white bread. It contains all sorts of artificial additives to give it some sort of nutritional value. These additives also give it a long shelve life. Yet so many of us think of it as comfort food. It was the staple of our childhood, at least for many of us.

My mother wouldn’t buy Wonder Bread and I for one never understood why. The commercials on TV were so inviting and when I went to my friends houses where they ate Wonder Bread I was thrilled to have a bologna sandwich on white bread with yellow mustard. It was a real treat.

My mother made sandwiches that were really nutritious. They were filled with some sort of meat, mayo, mustard, lettuce, cucumber, and sliced tomatoes. Sometimes, she would add a slice of cheese and Spanish onion. We called them salad sandwiches because my mother was always trying to get us to eat more vegetables. For me, though, it was the bread that made the sandwich. Often we would have crusty kaiser buns or even better soft onion buns. One weekend my mother went to the local bakery and bought a fresh loaf of French stick. She sliced it in half lengthwise and built a sandwich along the whole loaf, adding all kinds of filling. When she was done she put the lid back on the loaf and cut it into thick slices. The slices were placed on a platter and everyone was invited to help themselves. There was always a dish of dill pickles, olives and sweet mixed pickles or baby gherkins.

This past weekend I was visiting a friend of mine whose family is from Lithuania. We talked about bread. In her family she remembers dark Russian rye bread smothered with liverwurst and covered with sliced cucumbers. I can taste it now and my mouth is watering.

Maybe it is the cooler temperatures, causing me to think about bread and all the accompanying treats, I don’t know. What I do know is bread is something that can offer us much food for thought. Nutrition is something that is very important to me. I am known to eat fast foods and food with very little nutritional value. Still I am interested in feeding my body what will give it the best ingredients to fuel my engines. So I look for the best bread possible.

So dear reader what are your memories and thoughts around bread? Are you a bread enthusiast or do you avoid bread? Do you make your own bread or do you have a favourite bakery you like to go to?

Let me know in the comments below what your favourite bread is and how you like to eat it. Till next time…..

Posted on by Beth 2

Nature’s Lessons: Encounters with ‘Squirrel TV’ from My Living Room

My living room window looks out onto two large trees. They are planted side by side along with some smaller trees. It is interesting to see how these trees reach out and touch each other. The branches interwoven make it easy for the squirrels to run up and down their trunks. They also jump from branch to branch and tree to tree. It is quite entertaining to watch. There is a large nest at the top of one tree. I imagine the squirrels rest there when they are not busy chasing each other.

Sitting in my chair, I look out the window. I take great pleasure in watching the activities of at least two squirrels. One of the trees is a chestnut tree so this time of year the squirrels are busy gathering the nuts. If anyone happens to be standing under the tree, they could be bombarded with a nut or two. The same may happen if anyone is walking on the sidewalk. I have seen it happen. Quite startling to the victim.

Some days I find myself wanting to sit back and relax in my recliner. I take time out to watch “squirrel tv”. One can learn a lot about how to play and exercise from these little creatures. The more I study them and their interactions with each other the more fun I see them having. Maybe it is not fun for squirrels to chase each other. Maybe it is not a game at all. I don’t know that much about the behaviour of squirrels. Right now I just enjoy watching them.

What I know is that outside my window, there is a wonderful example of the interdependence of nature. It is just steps from the building I live in. Birds, animals, trees, sun, rain, wind, and earth all depend on each other. Watching how everything lives together in one small part of the yard provides me with much to consider. Paying close attention to it gives me lots to contemplate.

I don’t have to watch a documentary on regular tv or travel miles outside the city to see it. It is right here in my own front yard visible from the comfort of my recliner chair.

So what am I learning from watching “squirrel tv”?

  1. It is good to live close together. The trees in the yard are growing close enough together so they branch out and touch one another. When it is really windy they bend and sway and support one another. As humans we need to be close enough to prop each other up when the winds of change blow hard.
  2. Find someone to play with. Watching squirrels chase each other up and down the trees. They leap across branches and repeat the process over and over again. This reminds me to get up and move and do it playfully.
  3. Take time to groom yourself. I often seen the squirrels sitting on a branch grooming themselves. They take great care in doing so. The ones who are mangy looking are not doing well. Isn’t that what it is like for all of us. When we feel good we take care of ourselves and when our energy is focused elsewhere we let things go. Still we feel better when we are well groomed.
  4. Have a nest to go home to. High in the tree is a large nest made of broken branches and leaves. It is built upon three branches that grow out from the trunk of the tall evergreen. Isn’t it great how the tree supports the nest? The squirrel has a place to gather food. It also has a place to sleep at night out of sight from predators. We all need a safe place to go to when our day is done.

So dear readers. Those are just a few lessons in life that I have been reminded of by the squirrels outside my window. As the seasons change, the trees will start to let go of their leaves. The view outside my window will evolve. I look ahead to seeing how the squirrels adapt. Stay tuned for more messages from “Squirrel TV”. Till next time……

Posted on by Beth 0

Rediscovering Hope: A Tale of Multicultural Unity

August is coming to a close and September will soon be here. For most of us, September is like the start of a new year. Even though we are no longer in school, we still feel that anticipation of starting fresh. I often want to go to the stationary store and get a new pen or coloured pencils and a notebook. Not this year though. For some unknown reason, my September excitement is a bit lacklustre. I am glad the hot weather is coming to an end and look forward to the fall colours. Still, something is just not right. I can’t put my finger on it.

I have tried the old standbys like looking at my wardrobe. Maybe I will get something new to spruce it up. Or perhaps I will add something new to my home. I have even considered repotting my plants that look overgrown in their smallish pots. Still my get up and go has got up and went.

There is nothing I need or really want right now. Everything works well in my life and I have a circle of friends who I love and adore. My health is good, all things considered ,and so I wonder where I am I heading?

I don’t usually watch television, in fact I don’t even own one. I just stream what I want to watch at the time on my laptop computer. This week though I found myself watching the speeches at the Democratic Convention in the US on YouTube. Michelle Obama and Kamala Harris really took a hold of me. It was not just what they had to say but how they presented it. Their hearts were blazing and their words were so steady and emphatic. I wanted to speak like them. I wanted to stand before a crowd of people. I wanted to say what my heart and soul is so longing to share. The problem is I have no idea what that is. Or maybe I do.

I am a seventy year old woman who has seen a lot in life. I have raised two beautiful children and have five gorgeous grandchildren. My children’s partners are as much family to me as if I gave birth to them myself. I am blessed with a lovely sister who is two years younger than me and her husband and three sons. My family is small and full of love. There is so much I appreciate and am grateful for. My challenge now is looking outside myself and my own individual life. I need to see beyond what is right in front of me.

I have been on the receiving end of so much generosity over the past several years. I have done my best to contribute to the circle of life around me. Still I feel I need and want to do more with the energy I have. The big question is where do I start? I used to think my writing was a way for me to touch the world. Is that enough though? Is there more I am being called to bestow upon the world? Have I already experienced and been offered everything I need? These are all good questions.

I am not interested in seeking out my “purpose” or wondering about the “gifts” I have to offer. It is more than that. I am looking for a way into that arena. Crowds are forming there. The hope for a better world is being generated. I want to be a part of that. It is happening, not just in the USA, all around the world. Women, men and children and being called up to counter act the cruelty and divisiveness in the world. We are a Global community that is struggling to find the heart and soul of each others kindness and resilience. We are standing up for justice and shining a light on the inequalities that are so apparent. We are looking for leaders who can show us the way. We are also looking into our own hearts and wondering where we are being called to serve.

I have physical limitations that make it difficult for me to reach out beyond my own community. Yet, I am feeling called to be part of something bigger. It is more powerful than any of us has seen or experienced in our lifetime. It goes beyond feminism, civil rights, reconciliation, land treaties, and environmental concerns. It is a global movement. It is so powerful and invasive that the people in power now are flexing their muscles trying to stop it. Wars are erupting to push down the ground swell. Crowds are gathering to express their displeasure with what has been a put down for so many generations. Our education system, health care system, and political foundations are being rocked to the core. This happens to make room for something new and very different.

I feel this in my bones and quite frankly I am not sure where to go with it. I pray every day and night for some sort of guidance. Perhaps in my asking I will find the answers one step at a time. I feel the embrace of a new world order emerging ever so slowly and deliberately.

In 1972 I was a student at George Brown College in Toronto. I was elected to be the chair of the Human Relations Club by a group of my peers. Eighty percent of the student body on campus that year were foreign students or were there for Manpower retraining. I came from a white Anglo Saxon, protestant, privileged background. I was very much in the minority which was a different and humbling experience for me. One of my professors, John McRae, suggested that our group adopt a multi-culture theme for the year. He believed it was necessary as there was so much divisiveness among the student body. It was a mini world. Pakistani students were fighting with Indian Students. Black Students were forming their own Black Student Union. Chinese Students were segregating themselves. And on and on. I was young. I was naive. I believed that we could all come together in peace and harmony. This would happen if we would just learn to understand and respect each other.

So I met with each of the student groups. I somehow convinced them that we would sponsor one group a month to present their culture to the student body. Each student group was allotted a month. They educated the rest of the population about their country of origin and culture. They each accepted the proposal and each month we learned about each other. There were fashion shows, history lessons, food presentations and readings. At the end of the year, we had a multi-cultural festival. It was so well attended. The festival ended with a big dance. Everyone gathered together in peace and harmony. It was my dream come true.

I remember entering the room of the Black Student Union meeting. I was there to do my presentation. I was the only white person in the room. It was terrifying for me as I was not sure how I would be received. This group was very militant at the time. It was a good to experience what the black people had been living with for generations and still are. I understood at some level what they were fighting for. Thankfully I was received with open hearts and minds. The student body did a great job presenting their various cultures. Some were from Jamaica and other Caribbean Islands, others were from Nigeria and different African countries. The Latin American countries were also represented in their own way as were the Asian countries.

All this to say that nearly fifty-two years later I feel the resurgence of that multi-cultural enthusiasm. I feel the excitement of those early September days in a new way now. I was too young to understand it at the time. Though I did appreciate it. Now things have changed a lot in the world since then. I have grown up and seen some horrific examples of prejudice and cruelty. That year at George Brown College, we all came together to learn about one another. We eventually gained so much love and respect for one another. It gave me hope for a better world and future. It still does. That night at the dance I was blessed to see young women and men of all races dancing together. There was no thought of the colour of each other’s skin. We did not care about our cultural origins. We were all just students learning to get along with one another. It was one of the greatest years of my life. Thank you, John McRae, for giving me the opportunity to lead with my heart. I was surrounded by so many interesting people. I learned so much from you and from them.

Posted on by Beth 4

Connecting with Nature: Observations of Beauty and Wisdom

While out for my morning walk a few days ago I noticed this tree. The patterns on the bark intrigued me and I was curious about how those patterns were created. My knowledge of trees is very limited and my research skills are less than stellar. So I have been wondering ever since what this tree is offering me by way of knowledge and wisdom. Are all these shapes and bumps in the bark “scars” caused by some sort of attack perhaps by insects or animals chewing on it? Or is this the result of a natural process of shedding that has created a vision equivalent to that of an abstract painting? I don’t know. I just know there is beauty in it that I have taken the time to notice and appreciate. I wonder if others have noticed it. No doubt they have.

While I stood there observing the tree I felt like it was watching me as well. Perhaps you too can see the eyes in the bark. It was like one of those sci-fi movies where the trees come alive in the forest and start attacking the humans who have intruded in their space. Yet, I was not aware of any antagonistic energy between us. More curiosity on both our parts. I have walked by this tree many times and never before taken the time to actually be there with it and allow myself to be touched by its energy in a conscious way until I now. It is amazing what we can discover both about ourselves and about creation all around us just by paying attention.

A Colourful Image

A beautiful Thistle in the Forest

Later on another walk I found I was more aware and vigilant about noticing the things around me. I felt the energy buzzing in me. Suddenly, this beautiful flower caught my eye. I was taken in by the rich colour in contrast to all the earthy browns and greens of the forest. It stood out in a way that seemed to say “look at me”. I asked my friend who was walking with me what kind of plant it is. She told me it is a thistle. I don’t remember seeing a thistle in bloom before though I am sure I have at some point. The distinction between the sharp needle like thorns on the bulb and the stem of the plant compared to the softness of the purple head of the flower is worth noting. It was the soft spiky petals that caught my attention or I would have walked on by without any particular notice of the beauty of this otherwise ordinary plant, whatever ordinary means.

Intrigued by the Flow of Water

At a recent visit to the Sulphur Springs Conservation area near Hanover, Ontario, I found myself drawn in by the sound of the water. This was significant for me because until I got new hearing aids, the sound of water flowing over rocks was something I had not heard for a very long time. I only watched it. It was amazing to me as I experienced both the sound and visual aspects of water, rocks, earth and plants all working together. The experience was something that is hard for me to explain. It was as if the water was flowing over my body. All my senses were working together. Not only was I hearing and seeing it I was feeling it even though I was standing on the edge of the stream as it flowed on by. My Spirit became one with the Earth and I sensed it in my body. This is the beauty of paying attention and being mindful when surrounded by nature.

What I now know for sure, dear readers, is we are all part of this beautiful planet called Earth and no matter how we ignore the signs in front of us we will always be connected. What affects one of us affects all of us on some level.

I took time that day to give thanks to the trees and water and Spirits of the Land for the life giving energy that is offered through their presence with us. We are truly blessed in ways we can never fully comprehend. I pray for the forests and water and for all the humans who are destroying the land so that we all wake up and pay attention before we destroy what gives us life.

As we walk gently upon this Earth we call home let us give thanks.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I would love to read about your experiences with nature.

Posted on by Beth 1

Earth Angels: Spreading Love and Peace in a Chaotic World

Calling All Angels

From the time I was a little girl I have had a fascination with angels.  I watched so many movies about angels and always loved the idea that there are angels out there somewhere looking out for us.  When my daughter was born my son picked out a beautiful Angel tree topper to put on our Christmas tree because his sister was born just six days before Christmas.  We lovingly referred to her as our Christmas Angel.  The tree topper was always the last thing to go on our Christmas tree each year.   Somehow having that angel looking out from the top the tree always made me feel good like she was a part of us.

I used to have a whole collection of little angels that sat on the windowsill in my apartment in Victoria, BC. Some were made of pottery, others were china and there was one little one that was actually a place card holder made of stainless steel with a brass halo.  I think two of them were salt and pepper shakers.  I can’t quite remember. Often I imagined each of the little angels had their own personality and I would talk with them. As with so many of my things, they were passed on to others when I made the move from BC to Ontario. The Angel that hung on my door came with me though.  Her name is Agnes. She comes out every year at Christmas to welcome people into my home.   I think my daughter still has the Christmas Angel tree topper.

Moving into my elder years I have developed a deeper appreciation for the angelic realm.  I know now that angels really do exist because I have encountered them.  Some of us even know people who we believe to be “Earth Angels” or angels who have come to Earth to help spread love and peace in a very chaotic world.

Regardless of whether you believe in angels or not I have no doubt you have had an experience of someone, an acquaintance or total stranger perhaps, who has offered you a special kindness that you were not expecting and left you feeling touched in a truly meaningful way.

These encounters are not always big moments. Perhaps someone whose path you crossed just took a moment to look you in the eye and smile at you as they passed by, wishing you a good day.  Somehow that moment made an otherwise tough day better and you felt seen and deeply touched to your core.  Has that ever happened to you?

I remember being at the grocery store one day and the woman behind me paid for my groceries, just because. As far as I know, she had no way of knowing that I only had a little bit of money and was hoping it was enough to cover the cost.  I had picked everything carefully and added up the cost before heading to the check out.  Perhaps I looked anxious as the cashier rang everything in, I don’t know.  For all intents and purposes I could have been just fine to pay for my own groceries and yet she decided to do a good deed for another human being that day and I just happened to be on the receiving end.   Was she an Earth Angel?  I don’t know.  Did she read my mind?  Again, I don’t know still I felt blessed.

What I do know for sure is there are people who make it their mission in life to spread love and offer peace to their fellow human beings and if that makes them an angel then so be it.  Either way it is a wonderful experience to be in their company and be on the receiving end of their generosity.

For me being kind and generous is a way of loving and offering the peace that passes all understanding to the world around me.  I trust that where there is compassion love follows.  We can all be more mindful of the beings around us and be more present to their goodness even if we have to look a little deeper sometimes.  

So wherever you are right now, dear reader I am curious to know if you have had experiences with angels or perhaps you are one yourself.   Feel free to tell me about it in the comments below if you would like to.  Thank you for reading and considering the possibility of Angels among us.  Have a great day.

Posted on by Beth 4

The Baseball Game of Life: A Metaphor for Personal Growth and Challenges

I have developed a love affair with baseball. About four years ago I began watching baseball with my then roommate.  She was and still is an avid Blue Jays fan.  Every night we would watch the games together in the summer and I learned about baseball from her.  I got to know the players and who was good and well liked by the fans.  I also got to know the other teams and how competitive this game really is.

After a while I began to form my own opinions and favourites based on personality and performance. I became a Blue Jays fan myself and am still, to this day, loyal to my team.  Growing up in Toronto it only made sense.

When I moved out on my own two years later I missed my baseball time and began watching it on my own.   There was something about the game that drew me in.  I like it because it is slow and strategic and there is no fighting among the teams, at least hardly ever.  

The more I watched the game the more I see how the strategies get played out and how players get to know how to respond to the pitches and work together to score runs or defend against them.  I now have so much respect for both the offensive side and the defensive side of the game though I am just a junior when it comes to my knowledge of either side.

Metaphor for Life

Baseball, in my mind, is a good metaphor for life.  When we come up to bat we are at home plate and sometimes we hit a home run and sometimes we strike out.  Either way where we start is called home.  When we hit the homer we make our way around the bases as fast as we can until we are back home again.  When we strike out we leave home and go back to the dugout to contemplate our last move and how we could have done better until it is time to go home again.   

Other times we hit the ball just hard enough to make it to first base or if we are lucky to second or third on the first hit.  Then we wait for someone else to come to bat and hit us home.  Isn’t that a lot like life?  We all start from some place called home and then we make our way back independently running as fast as we can or strolling around the bases with a little help from our family and friends.  Sometimes we are left on the base and don’t make it back right away so we have to start over.

I have had my fair share of home runs in my life starting new projects and then working as hard as I can to bring the project home.  Just like in baseball where the playing fields change, we move around and we have to get used to the new terrain.  Some people work the same job and for the same company their whole career.  I know people who retired after 40 years from the same company and lived in the same house which they bought and paid for with the wages they earned.  Retirement for them was going home and not coming back to work.

For me though, I did similar work for lots of different organizations.  I always started at home office or home plate and worked my way around the organization helping them set up systems and clear administrative structures that worked to keep the ball in play.  When the game was completed I moved on.  I never stayed with one team for long.   

I moved around a lot in my life.  I had several different homes that suited my needs at the time.  I learned to play different positions and how to be a good leader as well as team player.  I could pick up the slack at new positions and learned to see the field from different perspectives.

Sometimes, though, life throws you a curve ball and you either hit it and make it to the next base or you miss it and have to try again.  

Building Community and Team Spirit

I was once offered an incredible opportunity to work on a pilot project helping young adults make the transition from school life to community living.  These young people had various forms of intellectual challenges and needed special accommodations to be able to work or volunteer in the community.  What made this project so special was that it was based on individualized funding and specialized programming so that I could go out into the community and find places for them to be of service based on their individual interests and dreams.  I had ten clients who I worked with and at the end of the first year they were all working or volunteering in a community organization where they felt they belonged and where their gifts and talents were honoured and appreciated.  They were all happy.  

After having such success with the first group I looked forward to the next year and another group of young people coming through the program.  Sadly though, the provincial government did not see the need for such a program to continue and decided to incorporate the work we did into a more generic program which was cheaper and where everyone was lumped together into workshops and government funded group activities.  I was offered a new contract at $15,000 less than my original contract to work with the same people while I watched their dreams being squashed before my eyes.  I said no and went back to the dugout to find my way back to home plate. Before I left though the young adults and their families had a farewell party for me and told me how much they appreciate the work we did together.  They knew I respected them and they in turn respected me.  For me that was my own personal home run.  

Team Building and Commitment

Having worked for many different organizations in different capacities all to do with office administration, human resources and sometimes social networking or community development, I have learned the benefits of working independently as well as in a team environment.

Now that I am retired I spend my time in the stands observing and watching the games being played from a spectators perspective. My role in the game of life is to cheer on those who are still running the bases, managing the teams and keeping the games going.  

I watch and support my children raise their children and support their spouses.  I spend time with my friends and peers making our way through life supporting organizations that we believe in.  

When and where possible we are out on the front lines advocating for a better world for our grandchildren and all children to grow up in.  We volunteer in and support community organizations that we believe in.  We may be in the bleachers still we are participating in the game because without the spectators there is no game.  

So dear readers whether you see the metaphor the way I do or whether you even like or know anything about baseball may you know that what ever position you play or however your participate you are part of the team we call the human race and your role is important.  

Let’s Play Ball!

Posted on by Beth 3

Thriving in Senior Years: Embracing Life’s Challenges with Resilience and Love

This summer I have had a renewed faith in life.  I have crossed over a threshold.   While entering a new decade I have grown more in tune with my own inner guidance system.   That gives me reason to be open to what is unfolding for me and trusting that no matter what transpires I am up for it.

My faith and belief in a higher power has provided me with a deep knowing and wisdom that comes from living life each day without fear and giving into the love that is present in and around me.

Questioning My Purpose

There have been times, many times, in my life when I have questioned the purpose and reason for my being here.  Once my children had grown and left the nest and my work life was over I could see very little value in the every day things that made up my life.  In fact it seemed to me to be a chore just to live and that was more of a burden than a gift.

My income has been well below the poverty line most of my life and that has had a huge impact on my world view.  As a woman with a limited education and living with a hearing impairment since my early twenties, I have had to work very hard to keep my head above water.  I have been brave, innovative and adventurous in ways even I marvel at sometimes.  Still I have always been doing what I could to simply survive rather than thrive.

Finding a New Perspective

In my sixties I began to look at life through a different lens and started asking myself important questions about where I could best insert myself so that my years of life experience could be put to good use.   I wanted all that I have lived through to count for something and to offer something to those I met along the way.  I wanted to be the example of what a sense of hope and resilience can look like, knowing  only comes from living through those tough experiences.  I started talking more about my experiences to close friends and even my family.  I stopped holding back and keeping my thoughts to myself.  I shared what I had been through and what I was currently living with.  Then others started sharing with me what they experienced and so the stories unfolded page by page.

Talking to God

I have been on a spiritual journey my entire life.  From a very young age I would talk with God and ask for help and pose questions about things I did not understand. God was never an old man in the sky to me.  God was a part of me that I knew and trusted was somehow connected to something bigger and wiser and knew more than I ever could.  I found I could connect to that power just by closing my eyes and breathing and listening for that still small voice or by talking out loud to whatever I knew that power to be. God didn’t always speak to me in words or in a male voice. I often heard her speak as a woman  especially when I was older. Sometimes I simply had a physical sensation that came over my whole body or a feeling of deep and abiding love that gave me reason to trust all is well no matter how bad things seemed.  My faith in that sometimes overwhelming feeling got me through some very scary times.  My heart got broken sometimes and I made many some bad decisions that cost me dearly along the way, still through it all I knew I was never alone.

Accepting the Changes in My Body

Now I have stepped quietly into the next decade of my seventies and that has given way to some really challenging and unexpected revelations.  Some of my body functions are diminishing and my physical strength is weaker than it was even a few months ago.  I was recently asked by someone older and wiser than me, and who I have a great deal of respect for, whether I choose to push on and through the changes or whether I choose to simply accept them and adjust my life accordingly.

That is a really good question and one I need to sit with because I don’t think there is a simple one answer fits all to the question.  There are some things I know for sure.  I am not an exercise person so going to a class to gain more physical strength is something I choose to avoid.  I choose to get up and move around, to dance to the music that is playing on my bluetooth speaker and walk with my friends and grandchildren.  That is how I keep up my physical strength.  If that is not enough then I will accept that my muscles are getting weaker and adjust myself accordingly.

Pushing Through the Challenges

I used to love cooking and preparing food for myself.  I never liked the clean up part though.  Still I did both because that was the only way I could afford to eat and nourish myself.  Now I live in a tiny studio apartment with a very small kitchen so I have come to accept that food preparation and clean up are both more challenging.  Sometimes I choose to push through this one and find easier ways of preparing my foods.  I no longer make big meals which require lots of dishes to wash and put away.  Simple one dish meals are my go to.  I don’t own a microwave so sometimes I eat leftovers cold.  They taste just as good and there is only one dish to wash.  My food budget does not go as far as it used to, as so many of us are experiencing, still there are times I choose to eat out because I just want someone to serve me.  Accepting that and allowing myself that little bit of luxury now and again has made such a difference in how I feel about nourishing myself.  I haven’t reached the tea and toast stage yet though I can see how that happens.   Fortunately, many of my friends are in the same position so we spend time together enjoying a light meal and each others company.  We encourage each other to just keep on keeping on.  Food security is a huge problem among seniors these days.  Fortunately there are some programs to help us out.

Aging Consciously

These past few months have given me lots to ponder and look at through the lens of Aging Consciously.  Those of my generation are aging and many are doing it in the same way we have lived our lives up until now.  We have been self aware and conscious of the the ways in which we interact in the world so why would any of that change just because we are getting older.  There are so many books written about this very subject and so many memoirs are being written to give meaning to our lives.  We are reading them because we want to see how others have lived and are aging as well as to see ourselves in the mirror of those pages.

Not everyone is cut out to be a writer or an artist or playwright or filmmaker.  Still most of us are cut out to be an audience of such creative endeavours.  I for one am thrilled when I come across a good story about older people especially older women who are finding meaning and purpose in life long into their later years.  It gives me hope for my own future.  As well I think it shows the world that growing older does not mean we have to give up on life.  Our worlds may get smaller as we lose our independence and our minds may get more confused still we are alive and our hearts are pumping blood through our veins.   That must mean we are here for a reason.   Maybe our purpose is to give someone else a reason to care for a fellow human being.  None of us really knows or maybe some us do.  Perhaps the older I get the clearer that will become.

What I am learning is that we may not know our reason or purpose for being here and it doesn’t really matter because we are here and that means we need to simply enjoy even the most mundane things in life.  We are here as a testament of a life lived through decades of change and sometimes struggle and those who really see us can bear witness to that fact, even total strangers.   

Love has brought us into this world and Love will take us out when it is time.  For now though what  I know for sure is LIFE IS WORTH LIVING everyday.

Posted on by Beth 5

The Value of Lifelong Friendships: Cherishing Old and New Bonds

This past month I have had the great pleasure of meeting up with some dear friends I have known most of my life. One woman was my best friend all through elementary school. She lived just around the corner from me and we went to the same church. We sang in the girls choir together and went skiing almost every weekend in the winter with her mother. We made memories that lasted a lifetime and have watched each other grow up and move through life. We don’t see each other often and when we do it is easy and seamless. We just pick up where we left off.

Another friend and I also met in public school. We share memories and similar life experiences of growing up in the same public school and having mutual friends. We lost touch with one another for several years and then reconnected on FaceBook. It was such a thrill to meet up and discover that the friendship and connection was still there. This past weekend I met her in Toronto and we had a great conversation about family and how we now interact with our grown up children. We talked about living in Toronto in the “good old days” when we knew all the artistic venues. We share a love of art.

I also met up with a friend in Toronto who I have known since my teen years when I dated his brother. We have been connected ever since. We have a lot in common and share many family stories and history together. We have grown up and grown older through the years and seen each other go through many life changes. We have stayed in touch and loved each other through it all. He knows my children and that gives me a warm feeling in my heart because I know how much he cares about me and them. We sat on a bench by the waterfront and just chatting with one another watching the boats go by. It was so nice to be able to “just be” together without any particular agenda.

I realized today that there is a lot of value in having friends who have known you most of your life. You know they know you in ways that newer friends don’t. We have been witness to the struggles of each others lives as well as the many joys and celebrations. We have shared with each other the deep dark secrets that live in our hearts and that we only trust with a select few.

I have had an adventurous life moving around to various places throughout the country. Still somehow via internet and yes sometimes snail mail and telephone, I have managed to stay in touch with many friends across this land. I am blessed with a community of support that offer me much in the way of good memories, lots of laughter and the making of new memories.

I value all my friends, new and old, and am so grateful for the connection we have. I love being part of their lives and also having them in mine. We form a circle of trust that offers us all a bond of loving friendship that not everyone is privileged to have. I don’t take any of it for granted and do my best to stay in touch with as many of them as possible as often as I can.

So dear readers I hope you find yourself in a circle of trusted friends who know and love you just the way you are. Friends you can laugh with and cry with when you need to. Friends who will hold your hand and give you the support and encouragement you need. Most importantly may you be that kind of friend for others and in the end know how to be your own best friend.

Posted on by Beth 1

Embracing Summer Thrills and Joy: A New Perspective on Life

Summer in my part of the world is a time when people slow down and try to get away to relax and take more time for play. I often hear from those who enjoy getting away to a beach or cottage where they can relax and do some summer reading. It is a time when a lot people find they feel more creative and want to be out in their gardens or in their studios painting. Writers take time away as an opportunity to envision what they may write about next or perhaps hole themselves away to write their next novel or short story.

The days of sunlight are much longer and the energy of the sun can inspire and guide us. There are also the summer storms that roar in sometimes without notice and we are caught in a downpour. Some people love to watch the thunder and lightening that often accompanies thunderstorms in my part of the country. The crash and roar of the skies opening up to release a build up of electrical energy is both invigorating and sometimes unnerving.

For me summer brings a mix of emotions. I have noticed my biorhythms are at their lowest in summer. Wanting to rest and lay low with little ambition to do much I take it easy. The hot weather discourages me from being outside or being too active. My body does not do well in the heat. I have friends, on the other hand, who love it and feel energized by the warming of the sun and hot humid air that makes them sweat. Not me! I am a cool weather person.

Still this summer I have had a great time just hanging out with friends and enjoying the lazy, hazy days of summer. I love watching baseball and look forward to attending a Blue Jays game in Toronto before the end of the season. Oh I know the Blue Jays have not been doing well this year still they are my team and I stand by them no matter what.

This past weekend I had the great pleasure of going to the motor racetrack with my son in law and grandson to watch them both race. My son in law raced his Mustang GT on the road track and my ten year old grandson raced his ATV four wheeler on the drag strip. It was so much fun to watch them. They are both amazing drivers. The biggest thrill of the day though was when my son in law asked me if I wanted to go around the track with him. I sat in the passengers seat while he raced around the track. We did two laps and I have never gone that fast in my life. Whizzing around tight corners and going full out on the straight away was so exciting for me. I don’t know what made me say yes because I am usually really scared of speed. This time though something inside me said yes, go for it. I am so glad I did. My son in law told me I was a real champion. I told him I am not here for a long time. I am here for a good time and that was definitely a good time.

I am finding at this stage of my life it is more about finding that thrill in life than it is about staying safe. Not that long ago I was in survival mode and doing whatever I could to stay the course and keep myself from falling off the edge. Now I live on the edge looking out into the unknown excited to discover what is out there and what new things I can learn about. It is no longer about maintaining the status quo and perhaps never was for me. I have always been courageous and wanting to see life from different vantage points. Being in the passenger seat of a race car was definitely a new vantage point and gave me lots to consider about life in general.

So dear friends, wherever you are, whatever stage of life you are in I wish for you a life this summer and beyond that brings you something that gives you a thrill and offers you a new perspective. Life is meant to lived full out and also to be savoured. I have learned that you do not have to get away to a beach or cottage to have a good summer. We can have the best experience of our lives at home with ourselves or sitting on a park bench watching the birds and squirrels enjoying life in the trees. Wherever you are and whatever you get up choose to make it fun and joyful for yourself. Happy Summer!

Posted on by Beth 3

Finding Purpose and Meaning in Old Age: Soul and Body Connection

I turned 70 years old just a couple of months ago and this month I feel soul weary, old and isolated.  I am tired of being on my own and carrying the whole load by myself.  Even the simple things like housework — dishes, garbage removal, laundry, meal preparation, grocery shopping —- have become daunting tasks to face every day.  Nothing seems finished.  I just get one thing done and it is ready to do again.  The energy it takes uses up whatever energy I may have for other more fun things.

When I take the time to work away at the basic tasks a bit at a time, things get done and I am energized and happy to sit down and admire the results of my efforts. Then I have a nice clean space to “play” in. I can sit at my table and do art or work on a piece of writing that I had been putting off.

When the Body Gets Tired

Sometimes, though, I feel old and weary as I deal with my physical body issues.  Hearing loss has been an issue for 50 years and has now become more of a detriment. My ability to process information quickly like I did when I was younger, has diminished.  It takes longer for me to take things in. At group meetings I fall behind losing the opportunity to offer my insights or opinions on things. Then I feel apart and isolated.   It is important that I speak up and let the group know what I am experiencing as I am sure others would appreciate slowing down as well.  We all need time to reflect upon what is said.  Still my confidence in myself to articulate clearly what it is I want them to know about the process needs work.  I don’t think quickly on my feet any more so I need to be prepared.

When You are Soul Weary

What does my Soul need to help me feel more connected? What does my body need to feel more energized?  Being with friends and family who really know me and accept me for who I am helps a lot.  Being on my own too much is not the answer. It is a balancing act. I like to be able to spend time with myself and my own thoughts and feelings. I also enjoy being with others. Listening attentively to others is an important part of who I am.  It is also hard work for me due to my hearing impairment.  So I need time to rest and restore. Again there is a balance required.

When to Ask the Questions that Lead to the Best Answers

Maybe it is not an answer I am looking for rather the right question to be asking myself and even God.  Perhaps then the answers will come naturally.  Finding the right or best question is often a task that requires some deep thought and exploration into the heart and soul of what I am actually feeling right now.  I describe it as being weary and maybe there is more to it than that.  

As my body slows down at times it takes longer to do things. My mind is often racing ahead looking for the meaning and purpose in what I am engaged in.  The simple tasks seem meaningless and inconsequential and yet it is those very things that give me quality of life.  At least a type of quality that I  appreciate.  I want to wear clean fresh clothes therefore the laundry must get done.  I want the garbage out of my home.  I want clean dishes to eat off of so dishes must be washed and I want good food to enjoy so shopping and cooking is necessary. All these tasks could be seen as mediative/spiritual practices rather than onerous tasks to complete if I so chose.  What if I only ever got all those things taken care of each and every day?  Would my life have purpose and meaning?  

So there in lies the question. “What gives my life purpose and meaning?”  If feeling old and weary means I have lost something valuable then what is it that I need to reclaim and find new ways to embrace?  The old “What If” questions come to me.

So, really I am asking if I should stop stressing about doing chores and start seeing it as taking care of my space and myself and if that would make a difference in my motivation. I am wondering if I believed I had the energy to do things, how would my life change. I am curious if this change of perspective would make me see things differently and if I would find new sources of energy. Basically, I feel out of shape, tired, and unmotivated, and I am asking for help and understanding.

Having Purpose and Meaning in Life

I wonder too, what is so important about having purpose for your life.  Is it not enough to simply be here and offer kindness to others now and again and to take care of your small part of the planet as best you can?  What is the difference between having meaning and having purpose?  I think it is the same as the difference between being and doing.  Meaning and being account for how we feel and what we experience on a soul level while purpose and doing allow for what action we take.  Again the yin and yang of life.  One without the other feels off balance.  Our bodies feel off balance and sluggish if we don’t get up and move around from time to time.  That’s the simple doing.  It doesn’t have to be any more complex than that.  Still the being part requires one to settle the mind and keep away from busy mind syndrome that takes us off on all kinds of emotional roller coaster rides. It requires “down” time to be able to be quiet and listen from the inside out and hear the spiritual voice of our own knowing.

Dealing with the emotional side of things is the hardest for me to be at peace with. I get so caught up in all sorts of emotional conundrums when I spend too much time on my own analyzing how I am feeling.  I focus too much on waiting for something to shift and change when what would really makes me happiest is living with a more accepting heart — trusting that all is well in my world regardless of how things appear in the present moment.  Easier said than done though.  Just when I think I am doing well and taking care of business as required I begin to feel rather lack lustre.  My heart longs for a more meaningful connection to life.  There is also a need for a creative outlet where my thoughts and feelings can find expression together.  

The deeper meaning of and need for connection is something I hear a lot among my peers.  We are often physically and socially isolated from the bigger picture in the world.  Some of that is by choice and some of it is because we no longer fit into the world that is evolving.  When we don’t have the opportunity for regular interaction with multi-generational activities then we lose sight of the bigger picture and become so introspective that we live mostly in the past because the present is just too boring or the current world problems are too overwhelming.  

The Importance of Interdependence

There was a time when multiple generations lived together and worked together in the same home, work place or even church community. Elders were revered story tellers and teachers. Now we are isolated in ways never before heard of.  We live in high-rise buildings segregated in little compartments.  We build fences around our homes so we don’t have to interact with neighbours.  We live in retirement homes away from schools and many of us have no family to visit us. Young people are conversing with people around the world via internet and don’t take the time to visit their grandparents who live just a few miles away if they have them.  Grandparents don’t take time to get to know about technology and how to use it or what the young people are up to so they have no common ground to relate to.  We are self compartmentalizing and that leaves us more and more confused about what is coming. There is no room for multi-generation collaboration any more.   My generation and the one just before me are living longer lives and yet are being warehoused in long term care facilities where they can be ignored and forgotten.

So what is the answer to this age old and old age dilemma?  Perhaps we are not meant to live together as multi-generational communities anymore.  Perhaps we are better off being segregated and living as communities of like minded and like hearted human beings.  I think not.  We can not keep breaking away from one another.  We must find new ways to come together to create that sense of belonging and interdependence.  It is what makes us human.  We live more and more in a global community where people of all nations and walks of life are faced with issues such as climate change and economic diversity.

When I sit alone in my own little studio away from the world at large I am only temporarily taking time out from the global issues because sooner or later they come knocking on my door and I can no long pretend that I don’t care any more. 

What Do We Really Care About?

That is my biggest issue with my life and question that I ask myself regularly.  What is it that I really care about?  What have I stopped caring about that I need to care about more?  Who do I care about?  Who do I know and trust cares about me?

When I stop caring I become lack lustre.  My heart stops radiating love and my mind stops wondering.  I become bored and boring in all the ways that make a difference.  This is what happens when I focus too much on the lack in my life and not enough on the wealth of love and light in my life.

Yes there are times when I feel old and soul weary and that is a natural part of living and aging.  The good news is I never stay there for long because there is far too much for me to be grateful for, learn about and offer from my years of experience.

What about you? How is your life unfolding? Do you feel bright and shiny or dull and tarnished? I would love to hear your thoughts and feelings on this..

Posted on by Beth 2

What Do You Really Need and What Can you Do Without?

I have been living on a very meagre income for several years now. I retired at the age of 65 without any retirement savings or pension so am totally reliant on what I have contributed over the years to my Canada Pension Plan. It is not a lot still I have learned to live comfortably on what it provides. There are some months and times of year when it is more challenging than others.

Reducing Expenses

This month I decided to cancel all my streaming subscriptions except one. I kept SportsNet because I am a diehard Blue Jays fan and want to watch all the games no matter how badly they are performing. It is amazing how the cost of all these apps like Netflix, Amazon Prime and all the associated add ons can grab a hold of your wallet without you even realizing it.

I don’t own a TV so the only cost I have is paying for my WiFi and cell phone which in Canada is a ridiculously high amount. Don’t get me started on that one!

Knowing When to Say No to Yourself

Today there was a yard sale at my apartment complex and I decided not to go. I could see some of the items for sale from my window upstairs and knew there were things to tempt me like pieces of artwork, a cool bright green lamp and others. It was hard to resist still I knew that I only had a little bit of money left and wanted to be able to take the bus down to visit a friend of mine later in the month. Often the only discretionary income I have left after paying rent and other bills is my food budget. So I have learned to buy whatever I feel like eating each week and making sure I have a few extras on hand in the freezer. I am not one to stock pile on sales and have a cupboard and freezer full of food that could sit there for weeks or even months. I can not do without good nutritional food. It is at the top of my list.

Treating Yourself Now and Then

Some months I get a little extra and when I do I treat myself to a meal out, some foods I don’t normally have around or something I have been waiting to purchase for my apartment. Being aware of the simple things that bring me joy is what keeps me on the straight and narrow when I am tempted by all the ads I see on FaceBook and other media.

I love thrift store shopping even just for the thrill of the hunt. I only buy what I know I will use and often will donate something I no longer need or love. It keeps my place fresh and clean and also gives me the opportunity to express my more creative side. It is like a revolving door form of entertainment. My place is small so I avoid accumulating large items or multiple items at a time. My furniture is all pretty basic white IKEA modern styling so it lends itself to fun and sometimes funky or vintage style accessories to add a pop of colour or visual interest. I have lots of plants and once a month I treat myself to some fresh flowers.

I live in a studio with lots of white walls to hang pieces of art work on. That is why the sale today was so tempting for me as I saw some pieces I really loved. Still there will be other sales I am sure when my budget will be more able to handle the extras. Knowing when to say no is the key to healthy living. Setting priorities for what is most important and staying open to treating myself once in a while is what really works for me.

I wonder what works for you. How do you stay on track or do you? Sometimes it is really hard and we can find we have dug ourselves into a hole. That is when it is a good idea to sit down and look at what you can do without for a while so you can crawl back up and get on even ground again. No point berating yourself. Simply go forward with a lighter step and don’t be reeled in by all those adds that tell you that there is something you must have when you really don’t. Take care of yourself as best you can and trust your heart to guide you.

Posted on by Beth 2

The Ritual of Making Tea and Connecting with Ancestors

Sometimes around mid afternoon I have a craving for a cup of tea and perhaps a couple of cookies to go with it. I am not sure when this ritual started. Perhaps when I lived in Victoria British Columbia where it was first introduced to me. I fell in love with all the different ways that tea is served. Then I started collecting tea pots just because I loved the shape or colour of them.

Earlier in my life I had a whole collection of cups and saucers that were given to me as shower gifts when I got married. Over the years when I was downsizing many of them were passed on. Now I just have a few that I cherish because of where they came from. Two of them are from a tea set that was my grandmother’s. One was a gift from the Empress Hotel in Victoria. One is from my mother’s set. The others are all from different friends who have passed them on to me to memorialize someone special in our lives.

Connecting through Ritual

There is something about making a pot of tea and serving it in a china tea cup that gives me a sense of peace and calm. I have several different varieties of tea in my collection. Some are loose tea and others are in bags. When I make the loose tea I use a Stirling silver tea strainer to pour the tea into the cup. It was part of a tea set from my other grandmother.

As I reflect on this simple act of serving tea I realize that it is a way for me to connect with my ancestors as well as friends who have gifted me with tea pots, cups and boxes of tea over the years. I am by no means a tea expert or pretend to know a lot about tea. I just enjoy the flavour of it and the ritual that goes along with making it. Sometimes I prefer to drink out of a bone chine mug especially on a cold day when I want to wrap my hands around the warm cup. When I really feel like treating myself to something special, though, I enjoy my tea cup from the Empress Hotel.

Family Traditions

My dad was an avid tea drinker. In his later years he had an office in our house and there was always a pot of tea and mug sitting on his desk. He used to laugh and say “I am just sitting here swilling tea”. My sister has his tea pot now and we recently talked about the memories of our dad it brings up.

When I was a little girl my mom would have her friends over to play bridge and I was charged with the responsibility of picking out the tea cups and placing them at each place setting on the table. I was always so excited to pick my favourite ones.

My grandchildren all like to have tea parties and drink from their favourite tea cup. Two of them live a long way away so we have FaceTime tea parties from time to time. I even showed them how to crook their little finger when sipping their tea. We all get a good chuckle out of it.

So to all of you who enjoy a cup of tea now and then know that you are not alone. In fact tea ceremonies are held around the world in different countries. I was told recently that in Japan when a couple gets married the parents of the bride and groom sit together and the bride and groom serve them tea. What a lovely way of honouring their parents.

Spiritual Practice

There is something Spiritual about a tea ceremony or ritual no matter how simple or involved it may be. Whether you are serving yourself or sharing with others there is a connection that brings us together. The pouring out of the tea for one another and sharing in the savouring of the flavour is a mindfulness practice. It slows us down and brings us into the present moment. Perhaps that is why I feel that call to stop and have a cup of tea in the afternoon. It is an opportunity to stop what I am doing and simply be present with the tea for a few precious minutes. One day I will learn the art of reading tea leaves in the bottom of my cup. In the meantime, I will enjoy the ritual and savour the flavour of my afternoon tea.

What are your favourite rituals? Do you have a special time of day when you like practice something that brings you into the present moment. I would love to hear from you.

Posted on by Beth 2

The Art of Sacred Pause: Wisdom and Stillness in Retirement

I have reached a point in my life when I want to pause and be still without the need to be doing something or attending to some sort of to do list. I want to be quiet and listen for that still small voice inside me to speak and let me know what it is wanting me to hear at this time. What is the wisdom I need right now? What is it that I want to share with others? I still want to live fully in my life. I am not slowing down per se, I just feel the need to take some time out for self reflection.

Have you ever brewed a cup of coffee using a French press coffee maker? The coffee grounds are put in the pot, then hot water is poured over them, next a screened plunger is placed into the pot just to the top of the waterline. After that you wait for the coffee to brew and bring out the flavours and rich aroma of the coffee grounds. That time of waiting is like a sacred pause. You wait quietly and patiently for all the experiences of life to create an enriched knowing. Eventually the plunger is pushed down to the top of the grounds and gently the clear liquid is poured out into a cup.

There is lots inside me that is brewing and bringing forth the wisdom of my years of experience. After the sacred pause it is knowing the perfect time to push the plunger down to the top of the grounds so you can savour what remains. For me, the hot water represents the difficult challenges that I have faced in my life. Without the challenges life is bland and has no flavour. It is just a bunch of grounds sitting in a pot dry and uninteresting.

My Life can be very quiet and still at times especially now that I am retired. Sometimes I need to stir things up so I can appreciate what I have . Other times I need to review what I have just been through and be grateful to still be here. Like having a fresh cup of brewed coffee.

I have friends who never think about their age or how many years they have left on this earth. They are still working without any thought of stopping any time soon. They see no need to. Their life is all about getting things done and having lots of new experiences, meeting new people and travelling around the city exploring and embracing what life has to offer and most importantly being grateful for it all.

I am glad to be retired now with lots of time on my hands to spend contemplating and writing. It is a great time to be alive and enjoy the simple pleasures of life. It is also a good time to be very grateful for all I have and all I am given each and every day to enjoy what this world has to offer.

I confess I do not own a television or watch any news channels. I am only just aware of the headlines that bring attention now and again to what is happening in the world. It is a choice I have made to remain peaceful and calm not to ignore the hardship of others rather to live in gratitude and bring light and love into the world. We have enough pain. I don’t need to feel it or contribute to it to know that it is there. Compassion is what is required and kindness.

So I take a Sacred Pause to be still and offer the light, love and kindness that is mine to share each and every day. May you also have peace in your heart and thoughts of generosity in your mind.

What has bubbled to the top of my mind today is this:

  • I appreciate what it means to grow older and live in a body that is slowly breaking down.
  • I am grateful for it all and no longer take anything for granted.
  • I have no regrets only lessons learned.
  • I have gifts I was given when I was born and have grown up learning to use them for the betterment of others whenever possible.
  • I am given opportunities to expand my awareness and broaden my perspective with every choice I make.
  • My world view is limited by my own social and cultural understanding based on where I live and though I may not fully understand or be able to relate to those from other geographical locations and cultures I am always open to learning.
  • I have learned that life is what you make of it and how you brew the grounds you have been given to work with.
  • I drink in each day and enjoy it to the fullest as if it is my last so I don’t miss one moment of pleasure and when things get hot I embrace the pain.

So dear readers Savour life and take time for a sacred pause every now and then. You never know what may bubble up for you. I would love to hear about your sacred pauses.

Posted on by Beth 2

Lessons Learned from the Drowned Laptop: Embracing Change and Recharging

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I have been taking some time out to recharge my personal battery. It has been good for me to take this opportunity to review where I am now and what direction I want to take in the future.

About a month ago I had my laptop sitting on the table beside my chair. I had a plastic glass with a lid and straw filled with water. I got up to do something so set the glass on top of the closed laptop. That was my first mistake.

I got busy and went out for the day. When I came home and sat down in my chair I noticed there was water on the floor. Then I saw the glass I had left full was now empty. It was not knocked over it was still there where I left it. So I concluded it must have had a small leak. What a shock! I grabbed my computer and when I lifted the lid water ran down the screen then under the keyboard. I quickly wiped it all off and thought I had saved it from further damage so I turned it on to see if if still worked and Ta Da it came on. That was my second mistake.

After a minute the screen went black and it lost all power. Sh**. It was an Apple Lap top not even two years old and I had just made the last payment on it. I was sick. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I contacted the Apple Store and took it in to be repaired. Sadly there was no repairing it. It would have cost as much to replace the parts as it would to be buy a new one. So I handed it in for recycling. That was my third mistake.

I learned some hard lessons through this experience.

At first I was devastated and then I relaxed about it and decided to take some time to recharge and learn to live without it. Thankfully I had saved everything on the Cloud so I could still access my files. I accepted my fate and moved on. I have an IPAD and a good friend gave me a keyboard to use with it. I also have my IPHONE. I decided to make do because there were no funds available for another laptop. So for about a month I was offline more often than not. My writing suffered as I was so used to writing on a laptop and the IPAD was not a big enough screen for me to see well enough. So I stopped writing. That was my fourth mistake.

As a writer and someone who lives alone technology has become my lifeline. I no longer enjoy handwriting and transcribing. I prefer to write on the computer. So I began to grieve the loss of my laptop in a way that was quite surprising to me and also a gift. I looked deeper inside to learn what it was about the loss that was so hard for me. Some of it was financial. I no longer had the financial resources to replace my laptop. That took me into a deeper hole of fear of lack and self recrimination about being in such a tight spot.

My writing always helps me to connect with myself and others in a way that simple conversation does not always afford. So not being able to connect through writing is very hard for me. After a month I was at a real loss and needed help to find a solution. So the lesson here was that I needed to stay connected via technology for my own health and well being.

I decided to ask for help with my dilemma. I was very specific with my request. I wanted a used laptop that someone may not be using any more and was willing to either lend me or give away. I was hoping for an Apple Laptop as it communicates with my other devices and would be happy with a PC. I put it out into the Universe and two days later a friend from my church arrived with his old Apple Laptop for me. It was a gift not a loan. WOW! I was so happy I was in tears. I had a new life line.

The time without a computer was good for me. I created new habits and routines for going out for walks when I may have preferred to be in writing on my computer. I called and chatted with friends instead of emailing. I was out in the community more and getting to know my new neighbours.

Spring had sprung and I was ready to recharge my own battery. The story of the drowned laptop was a good metaphor for me to review and look into its deeper meaning for me. Perhaps there is a story to be written from that. Lesson learned keep all liquids away from technical devices!

Posted on by Beth 4

Holy, Holy, Holy

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Holy Molely, Holy Cow, Holy Crow, Holy Smokes……….. There are so many expressions that use the word holy to start with and some of them are used in every day language such as the ones I have just stated. Mmmmm I wonder how that started? Then there are phrases like the Holy Grail, Holy Sacraments, Holy Days, Holy Bible, Holy Scriptures that are used to define something that is dedicated to God or is sacred in some way or other to a group of people based on their religious or spiritual beliefs.

Going on Retreat

The title of this piece came to me over the weekend when I was attending a three day silent retreat at the Loyola House Retreat Centre in Guelph, Ontario. It was a bit of tongue in cheek at first because the night I arrived at this very “holy place” I sensed a shift in my own energy just as I walked through the doors into the reception area. It was a tingling sensation throughout my body. I was not expecting to have such a visceral experience upon arrival. I was both excited and a bit nervous so my tendency was to find humour in the experience to lessen the tension. It worked. I was laughing with myself as I walked around wondering what it was I was going to see or feel during my stay there.

I have been on Spiritual Retreats before and had positive experiences. This time was different though. I was coming with a particular question in my heart and mind because I have been having a strong feeling for some time that I was meant to be there at that particular retreat. So the obvious question was “Why Am I here?” The other questions that were popping up for me were “What are my gifts? and Where and How am I to best share them?”

Answering a Call

I have been feeling called to some sort of service since the beginning of the year and yet what that looked like was very vague and obscure to me. So I retreated to see if I could quiet my busy mind and calm my inflated ego long enough to get some answers to my questions. It is important to me that I bring Love and Compassion into the world along with Gratitude and Humility. So I am learning how to do that one day and one step at a time.

The thing is nothing really miraculous happened to me while I was there. At least nothing that seemed that out of the ordinary to me. I found myself sleeping a lot and dreaming a lot. Somehow I was being summoned to speak up and tell my story. That is hard to do at a silent retreat. Still I was listening and paying attention and asking where? tell who? what stories? I did a lot of praying during my quiet time on my own. I also did a lot on inner listening waiting for a sign or words that would point me in the right direction.

Personal Awakening

On Saturday afternoon about half way through the retreat, I took myself into the lounge area and sat down on a big red chair facing a large window that overlooked a garden with three statues. The statue of a woman standing with her arms out stretched grabbed my attention. I closed my eyes and sat quietly holding the image in my mind. What I experienced next was a laying on of hands. I was sitting with my eyes closed and felt these warm hands on my head. There was a rush of energy that flowed through my entire body right down to my feet and into the floor. It was same sensation I felt when I walked in the door on the first night. I immediately opened my eyes to see who was standing there touching me and no one was there. I was all alone in the room. This time I did not laugh it off. I simply said Thank You. It was a gift I had been given and I had a sense this gift was meant to be shared.

The Gift

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I had a strong sense where the gift came from because I had been praying for a sign from God/Goddess to show me why I was there. The retreat was titled Living in the Heart of Jesus. I knew then that Jesus was standing there with me and I was feeling his compassionate, loving heart energy. It was that simple and that profound for me to be able to embody that love so quickly and with such a complete assurance that I was in the right place at the right time. I was an open vessel ready to receive the gift. I was being called out into the world to be a conduit of that grace and love and to bring that energy with me wherever I go and in whatever I do. There were no words exchanged and no messages to impart. It was just a gentle touch and I knew how I needed to be. There was no demand or command to do anything in particular. It was simply about doing everything with Love and Compassion and being Love in the world.

So Yes indeed Holy, Holy, Holy. May Peace find you wherever you are and may Love be your constant companion. Blessed Be.

Posted on by Beth 2

We are the Sum of All Our Parts

I look around the room and what do I see?  An unmade bed, clothes piled on the chair and draped over the bench.  Dishes in the sink and scattered around the room, dirty clothes sorted and piled on the floor waiting to be laundered and Teddy bears on the chair.  

If I didn’t know better I would presume that I had walked into the room of an adolescent.  The truth is though it is my own studio apartment I am looking at and I am almost seventy!  I am living with my adolescent self at the moment.  She is very rebellious and creative as well as moody at times.  She wants nothing more than to avoid housework. When growing up she was used to having her mother do it for her and so is not motivated to look after it herself.  

At the same time, she is very creative.  She loves to write and play with art materials.  She loves putting together outfits that are stylish and comfortable.  She also loves spending time with friends and sharing some good food.  One of my favourite things to do as a teenager was go to the local restaurant after school with my friends and order a Coke with a plate of French fries and gravy.  I found myself drawn into a diner a few weeks ago and placed that very order.  It was so satisfying.  

What in the world has brought this young part of me out again? I like her in so many ways, still my mother self needs her to clean up the place and bring order back into my life.  Mothering myself is a good way to use my energy in a positive way.  I need good mother messages right now.  I can remember my mother often commenting on how nice I looked when she picked me up from work or how much she liked the way I decorated my home when she came to visit after I was married.

As fun as it can be to live with my adolescent it is not good for her to be in charge all the time.  I am best to stay present as the older woman I am and keep my life moving forward in the most positive ways possible. Then again maybe the older one is having fun just letting go of all the responsibilities for now and having the freedom to be sloppy and carefree. I will eventually clean up because truthfully I feel better when everything is clean and orderly.  So for now here’s to allowing all the many parts of ourselves to shine in their own light.  We are the sum of all our parts.

Posted on by Beth 4

After the Move

When I moved back to Ontario in 2019 from British Columbia I lived with my daughter and her family for a few months while I got myself oriented to the new city I had landed in. I put my name on the waiting list for a seniors residence that was located in a perfect location and was affordably priced to fit with my budget. Unfortunately, when I was ready to move out on my own there was not an opening so I rented a room in a house temporarily until my name came up. Then I had to move again to another location temporarily. Finally in December 2023 an opening came available and I was able to make a more permanent move into the seniors residence. By then my patience for moving was almost exhausted.

Moving can be tediaous and disorienting at the best of times and having to move four times in five years was very disconcerting. Still each time I moved I learned something new and oriented myself to my current location. I created a space which felt like home even for a short time.

I learned some important things.

  • Having a comfortable place to sleep is the number one priority so get it set up first
  • Next set up your bathroom so you know where to find your bare necessities
  • Keep your dishes and kitchenware to a maximum of 4 when you live alone in a small space
  • Linens take up a lot of space so keep only what you use all the time and get rid of the rest
  • Make sure you have things sorted before you move so it is easy to find things at the other end
  • If someone asks you if they can help let them know some prepared meals would be great

When looking at bunch of tulips I have sitting on my table I likened my experience to them. They begin as bulbs in soil, then are cut and transported to a store where they are gathered in bunches and placed in a pail of water waiting for someone to bring them home. Finally I found them, brought them to my home where they were placed in a beautiful container of water and provided a lovely display of colour. Soon their time in the vase will be finished and they will drop their petals. I can gather those petals up and form a shape with them. The tulips are then transformed into something new and just as colourful.

So it is with my new more permanent home. After the initial move there was an aftermath that took some getting used. I had just had cataract surgery and was exhausted so my friends all came to help me unpack. It was wonderful to have so many people show up and offer their time and assistance. It also made getting oriented into my new place a little harder because I did not know where to find things. So I took my time and waited.

Getting Oriented into a New Home

There were boxes still needing to be unpacked and things needing to find a new home that I no longer had use for. I wanted to get organized and settled quickly and at the same time just needed to rest. Moving so many times left me feeling uneasy about whether this was going to be my last move or not. It took me almost three months to finally trust that I was home and could take my time settling in and creating the space I truly wanted my home to be. No matter where my petals fall a beautiful image is being created.

So I followed my own advice:

  • Take your time to live in a place and see how you move about before putting things away
  • Give yourself a few treats like meals out so you can get a fresh perspective when you come home
  • Have a vase on the table ready for a bunch of flowers and bring yourself home some
  • Candles at night help to give a natural glow to a place even when there are boxes all around
  • Make sure you make room to display your most prized possessions because that brings you joy
  • Only keep the clothes you are wearing on a regular basis when you are short on storage space
  • Make sure you have live plants and room by a window to display them

I now live in a 500 square foot studio apartment so it has been a learning experience to find out what works best in living in a small space. I am loving the simplicity of it for one thing. I am also working on how to organize my storage closets while making things easily accessible. It takes time and patience.

What advice do you have for small space living? I would love to hear it.

Posted on by Beth 2

Living with and then without a Car…..

New car sales – Bridgend Ford by Alan Hughes is licensed under CC-BY-SA 2.0

First the New Car

In late 2012 I decided to trade in my then ten year old car for a brand new one. I had five years until retirement and thought it was a good time for me to take on the added expense while I was still working and could have it paid off by the time I retired. I would then have a car in good condition to take me through my senior years for as long as I was able to drive. So off to the car dealership I went and I found myself a sporty and affordable car I named Daisy. Don’t ask me why it was just a name that popped into my head. I loved that car. It was a Ford Fiesta. It was sleek and held the road well. I felt so free and easy driving it.

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Sense of Independence and Freedom

I was living on Vancouver Island at the time and had a few friends who lived up Island. Daisy and I made a couple trips along the highway and up the mountain to visit them. We crossed over to the Sunshine Coast as well and visited a dear friend there. I felt on top of the world and confident in my driving and my car in ways I had not felt for a long time.

What is it about having a car that gives you that sense of independence and freedom? For me, when I got into that car it was like I became one with the car. It had a personality not just by its looks. It was the way it drove. I felt safe and secure and knew as long as I treated it well it would take me wherever I wanted to go. I stored things in Daisy that I wanted to have with me. When I needed to go to the store my shopping bags were in the trunk. It was always a good place to store something I wanted to get out of the house until I got around to dropping it off somewhere.

Hard Choices

In January 2013, just a few months after I bought Daisy, the owner of the company I was working for informed me that he was downsizing and that my position was being eliminated. That came as a total shock to me. There was no indication leading up to that time that I would not have a job in the new year or I would never have made the financial commitment I did. I worked until the end of February.

For a whole year I tried to find work and in that year had to move to a smaller more affordable studio apartment. Still I was able to keep Daisy. Unfortunately, I was not able to find full time work and eventually I had to make the very difficult decision to give up my car. It was so hard to say good bye to Daisy because I knew my life was about to change forever.

Life without a Car….

It had been years since I had relied on public transportation. I was in my teens at that time and it was either take the bus or street car or walk. I lived in Toronto so was also learning to use the then new subway system.

Forty years later, in my sixties, it was a lot different. First I had to learn the transit system in the city I was living in and figure out how to get from point A to point B as expediently as possible. It took much longer to get anywhere so I had to allow for extra travel time. Then I had to get something sturdy to transport my things, like groceries or parcels I was taking the post office that were too big for me to carry. I bought a top of the line shopping cart with extra suspension to carry heavy loads. I named it Gwen. Don’t ask me why it just came into my head. Gwen and I were going to learn to get along without Daisy.

It was not easy at first. I was used to the independence I had had to get where I wanted to go directly and in less time. Like most drivers, my car was my private bubble or womb where I could be while I travelled around town and not have to interact with anyone else. Now I was out in the world and exposed to the elements. Rain or shine I had to be prepared.

Photo by Kaique Rocha on Pexels.com

Soon I began to learn that you can meet some very interesting people at the bus stop. As I waited I got into conversations with others who were also waiting. They often gave me the inside track on what was happening in the community. Soon I was seeing the same people on the routes that I usually took. We began to greet each other around town and acknowledge one another’s presence. There were the usual characters who hung out around the bus stop hoping for a ride into town even though they may not have the money for the bus fare. They too were part of the community.

As I used the public transit I eventually found it more economical to get a monthly bus pass. I was working part time and taking the bus to work. Sometimes I had to walk. Eventually my income was so low I qualified for a free bus pass. That helped out a lot. I began exploring the city I was living in more than I had ever done in my car. I discovered places like out of the way parks and gardens, and neighbourhoods with unique shopping areas. Sometimes I had to take a taxis to doctor’s appointments or to get myself home from grocery shopping. Mostly I just used the bus though or walked where I needed to go if it was close by. There was even bus service to take me up island to visit friends. Still I was more limited in my travels.

Photo by Craig Adderley on Pexels.com

Starting over in a new place

When I moved back to Ontario I learned a whole new public transit system. I moved to an area just outside of Toronto still considered part of the GTA (greater Toronto area). There are so many more choices to get around in that area. There are local buses, Go trains, and Go buses that connect cities from as far south as Niagara Falls and north as Waterloo. I was so excited to learn about all the options available and how easy it was to travel around without a car. My friends with cars were all impressed with how well I knew the system and how I often I used it. One day it the heat of summer I got on a bus and took it all the way to the end of the route and back again. It was a great way to stay cool and get to know the new city I was living in. I discovered being a tourist in my own town. Simply exploring via public transportation.

Now almost ten years after giving up my car I still miss the independence. I find I am using UBER more and more because it is faster and easier. Family and Friends are very generous in giving me a lift when I need to get somewhere out of the way or to take me to the grocery store or medical appointments. I am a senior now and in the city where I live seniors get free bus service. I am so grateful for that option. I still have Gwen and she is used mostly for transporting my laundry to the laundry room now though she does come in handy for carting heavier things from time to time.

Not having a car means I also walk a lot more. I find walking not only gives me exercise it connects with my neighbourhood in ways I would not be doing if I was in a car or on a bus. I try to purchase as much as possible from local merchants who are close to my home. I chat with my neighbours as we pass by each other.

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Making the Best of it…..

Not having a car any more is really a saving grace in many ways. Financially it has meant I am not strapped with the expense of gas, insurance and the maintenance of a car. I am blessed with the support of good friends and family, a great public transit system and growing awareness of the neighbours and people who work in the stores close by. I often walk in the neighbourhood over from mine which is filled with mature trees and beautiful gardens. There is a lovely park I walk to that gets me out in nature. I live just twenty-five minutes walk from the shores of Lake Ontario and have made it my goal to walk there and back at least two or three times a week. I am still working on that one. There is a bus that goes down to the lake so if my legs can’t get me both ways I can hop on the bus. So as hard as it was to say good bye to Daisy and the lifestyle that having a car afforded me, I have made the best of it and am no worse off for it. In fact, I may be better off…….

Posted on by Beth 3

Memories………

Some of the best memories I have are times spent with two very good friends and a cat that I formed a very special bond with. I have lots of friends and lots of great memories so it is not to take away from any of them. These two people I am writing about today have found a special place in my heart for different reasons. They have both watched me go into my cocoon and emerge through a transformation process that even I don’t fully understand.

Friend and Mentor

My first friend pictured I saw last summer for the first time in four years. She came to visit me with her husband on their travels across Canada and the US. We first met in 2014 when I was still living in Victoria, British Columbia. I was seeking a purpose for my life after being unemployed for almost a year. I was asking myself big questions and wondering what my older years were going to be about. One day I came up with the idea of becoming a sage, whatever that meant. I thought I could somehow become a Wise Elder or Sage. So I Googled Sage and found a book “From Age-ing to Sage-ing – A Revolutionary Approach to Growing Older”. That sounded like a good place to start. This led me to an Organization called Sage-ing International that was founded by the author of the book — Salman Schachter-Shalomi. This organization offers courses, workshops and retreat weekends. It is an international organization with regional contacts. So I wrote to the person for my area. That was my first encounter with my now dear friend Nancy. We met and instantly discovered so many things we had in common. She was easy to talk with. She is older than me and is trained to be a mentor. I enrolled in two of the intensive weekend retreats she was facilitating and I received my certificate. Over the years she has introduced me to others in the organization and I joined a Wisdom Circle that she was leading. This was the beginning of my elder years and was a big turning point for me in my life.

Writing Companion

As our friendship developed Nancy and I became writing partners. We met every two weeks spending time writing alone together. We started with a common prompt and then wrote whatever came to us during a set period of time. When we were done we would share what we had written with one another taking great pleasure in seeing where the prompt led us. One of my favourite memories was the day we chose a prompt I had seen on a website “She was raised in a graveyard by ghosts”. We decided to take ourselves to the local cemetery to write. It was a beautiful warm, sunny day overlooking the ocean. We sat there on our lawn chairs in a grassy opening with our books and pens and wrote for forty-five minutes. The stories that we wrote that day were both humorous and dark in content. It was so much fun. We still laugh about it to this day. Nancy not only became my friend and mentor she became a soul sister. She is someone who I can go months and not talk to and yet we can pick up right where we left off the last time we talked. It is amazing to me how we found each other just because I was curious and seeking some greater purpose to my life.

Old Friend, True Friend

My next friend pictured is someone I have known since elementary school. We grew up in the same neighbourhood and went to the same school. We lost touch over the years and then one day she found me on Facebook and we connected again. It is not often you find someone who has known you for such a long time and can share the old memories of days gone by and at the same time remind you who you are today. Irene is another one of my soul sisters who I share many childhood memories with. She remembers things about me that I had long forgotten and always gives me something to laugh about. One of the things we share is a love of baseball and we have celebrated our friendship at a BlueJays baseball game on more than one occassion. It is so much fun. I can laugh and be so silly with her and at the same time we connect on so many levels. We both love art and she is a wonderful fabric artist as well as visual artist. We complement each other. Again we can go for a long period of time and not see or talk with one another and just pick up where we left off or start fresh with something new.

Feline Friend

Then there is my old buddy Kipper. I spent just over a year looking after him when his parents went away. He was my pal through good times and not so good times. He was another one of my dear friends who supported my writing as well as my Spiritual Journey. When I stayed with him I often felt like I was on retreat in a perfect little cottage. He would curl up on the sofa beside me while I wrote on my laptop. Periodically I would stop and read to him what I had written. Sometimes he would look up and appear to be listening while other times he would simply keep sleeping beside me. Either way I loved his company. When it was his turn to be fed he would get my attention and remind me who was the boss. We had a special understanding. Even though he was not my cat and I only spent time with him periodically there was a bond that we shared and when he left this world at the age of twenty years old I morned his passing. To this day when I visit his parents who are also now my dear friends I miss seeing him coming round the corner or up the stairs to greet me. I have very fond memories of our time together.

And finally …..

There are so many people I could write about who have changed my life and added to my story. I could not be where I am today without all the many friends in my circle who I love and who love me and without my family who I adore and cherish with all of my heart. It has been good for me to write this piece and open the memory banks. I have been feeling very stuck and uninspired for a few months now and somehow today I found the key to open my heart once again. Thanks to all of you who follow me and read these posts. I appreciate your presence and comments. I am not that good and all the technical parts of this website so forgive me if it is hard to find the post. I am working on it.

Posted on by Beth 6