Tag: faith

Finding Peace Amid Chaos: A Personal Reflection

At the end of October or beginning of November, I can’t quite remember, I retreated from the world. I needed time to be quiet and find the stillness within me. I needed to be peaceful and focus my attention on what my heart was telling me. My mind is always busy thinking about my family, friends and events in the world. I do my best to live in gratitude and to be kind, still I am human. I can have moments of frustration and deep and abiding anger at what I see and hear about what is happening around the world these days. Even in the lovely seniors apartment building where I live I hear about in fighting among the residents. They complain about the silliest things instead of feeling grateful for all we are given here. So I needed to take a break from it all.

It has been a deeply personal time of reflection and contemplation. Doing my best to stay in the present moment. I go to bed every night with love in my heart giving thanks for all the many ways I am graced with a good life. I wake up in the morning grateful for a new day to begin again. We can only live one day at a time so that is what I have been practicing. Being a deeply spiritual person I find hope, peace, joy and love in so many places. At the same time, I experience the crushing blow of violence in and around each of us as we walk in this world that is full of despair and misery.

I have to be honest with you all. I have been deeply affected by the story of Michele and Rob Reiner’s death this week. It weighs heavy on my heart. Not because they were celebrities because they were honest, kind and loving human beings who walked in this world bringing a message of hope to all who needed to hear it. Still they were met with a violent death at the hands of a son who they loved and tried tirelessly to help. This is not just their story. It is the story of humanity. It is how we are hurting and killing each other every day without even realizing it, because we can not see past the dark side of our humanity and into the light of Love from which we are all born.

In the quiet of my own home and in the stillness of my heart I pray every day for the people of the world who are painfully unaware of how their thoughts and feelings are impacting all of humanity. We are all connected. I truly believe and trust in that knowing. I can not love my neighbour without also loving my enemy. I can only love myself when I am able to accept with grace the Love that comes to and through me from my higher power. That is the light that shines in the darkness. That is the light that comes to us each year at this time. The longest and darkest day of the year is coming up very soon. Then the light will begin to return. We are all called to carry that light within us and shine it in the world wherever we are and in whatever we do.

This year I have had a different experience of what it means for me to be celebrating the season of Advent and soon Christmas as a Christian. I have been reflecting on the story of the nativity. The story of travelling toward the moment and place where Love and innocence are born into the world at a time of great upheaval. I have also been reviewing the events reported about the life of Jesus as he lived the human experience. In these stories I have seen my own story reflected. I have seen the story of what it means to be both human and holy. I see how we are called to stand up and challenge those dark forces that no longer carry the light of Love. When I hear and read stories of violence and overpowering condemnation, I find myself falling on my knees in prayer. Help me see through the darkness, I pray. Help me see through to the light of each human being who has been crushed and traumatized to the point that they can no longer experience anything but hatred, pain and a need to violate all that is good in this world. Then I pray for every soul on this beautiful Earth. I pray for the Peace that passes all understanding. I pray that Love surrounds us all and brings hope where it is most needed. I pray that everyone’s heart is opened to receive the gift that is theirs to receive.

So dear reader, whether you celebrate the season of Christmas or take time to reflect on whatever this time of year means for you, may you find what you are looking for. May you experience the gift of Love in its many forms. May you know Peace in your heart trusting in the Light to guide you along life’s path in the coming year. May all be well in your world. Many blessings to you.

Posted on by Beth 4

Finding Joy in Quiet Moments

It seems the world is spinning faster and faster every day. Chaos reigns all over. Yet in the quiet of a regular day I can feel the joy that is also there. There is hope everywhere when you are open to seeing and feeling it. Even if you are not looking when you become still and listen you can hear the birds chirping. They are telling us of a new world order that is coming our way. In fact it is already here. We just can’t see it yet.

I have been feeling the need to withdraw into myself for a while now. It takes great effort for me to engage with people these days. I have a hard time coming up with topics of conversation. So I often sit quietly and ask questions so others can share what is on their mind. I love to listen and hear their stories. It inspires me and keeps me connected. At the same time, what they share gives me more to consider in my own life. My heart reaches out to them and we connect Soul to Soul.

What is this need to withdraw and be quiet all about anyway? I am not sure exactly. I just know that I am much more relaxed and content in my life right now. I am comfortable in my own skin and enjoy my own company. It has taken a while to reconnect to this sense of belonging I so needed. To be part of something greater than myself again. It is bigger than the world outside my door. It is a sense of being a conduit of peace and kindness. It is of love and compassion. This feeling comes from a source that is more powerful and more genuine than I can describe in words.

For weeks I have felt lost in the wilderness. I did not know how to connect. I was longing for a sign or feeling a hand reaching out for me. I crawled into my bed and slept away the hours that felt empty and without purpose. Then in my dreams, a still small voice spoke inside me. During my quiet time, it gave me reassurance. I am not alone. I live in a world filled with love. People who genuinely care about one another surround me. They also care for the Earth.

At church this week I was sitting quietly waiting for the service to start. The music director, who I genuinely love as a kindred spirit, came over to me unexpectedly. He bent down and gave me a warm heartfelt hug. I can’t tell you what a gift that was to feel his arms around me even for a few seconds. I felt the presence of God in that moment. Something opened inside me that had been closed off. I listened intently to words of the songs being sung. I watched the choir as their faces lit up when they sang. I listened intently to the scripture readings and the prayers that were shared. Every word landed on my heart and brought me joy. The sermon stirred in me images of Truth and Reconciliation with the people who first inhabited this land. I felt sad for and with them. Still there was hope in the message. There were references to ways we can make peace with the past. By the end of the service, I felt myself emerging from the dark shadows where I had been dwelling.

I was reminded about all the people in my life who I care about and who care about me. It was a time of Truth and Reconciliation for me. I came to understand how often I forget to make that conscious decision to be quiet and still. Even just a few minutes of stillness is important. It is in the stillness that I find the truth of my well being.

I am happy to say that I am finding Joy in my life again. I am looking through a clearer lens than ever before. My spiritual home is where I live joyfully for each day is a new beginning. For now, as an Earth Dweller, I seek a new way. I want to experience fully what is in my every day. I want to find my way along life’s path to the beauty that surrounds me. 


I wish the same for you dear reader. What brings you joy? Where do you connect with the Still Small Voice in you? How do you walk upon the Earth with Love in your Heart?




Posted on by Beth 0

TURNING THE PAGE – Starting a New Chapter

For the past month or so I have felt lost on my life path. As I look ahead I notice there is a bend in the road and I can’t see beyond it. This is not unusual. It has happened many times in my life. Every time, it turns out there is something waiting for me. It is either something I was not expecting or not prepared for. Still, I met each situation with courage and adapted to the changes in ways that surprised even me.

This time though I am more curious than worried about what lies ahead.  I know it may have something to do with a course I am preparing to take in the fall.  At the same time, I am reckoning that there is something else that I am going to face.  It may be related to my physical or mental health. Or, it could be something external to myself.  These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about myself. This focus has become problematic. It has made me more insular.  I am always healthier and stronger when I consider other people. I focus on their circumstances. I think about how I might be of help to them. I use my own life experience as a guidepost.  When living alone, you must be consciously aware of your own circumstances. You are responsible for doing everything.

Family

Recently, I have been working through some very deep feelings. These feelings are associated with family of origin patterns. They continue to play out in my own family.  I raised two children to be strong, independent, and self-reliant people. They know how to make friends and be a good friend.  When I stand back, I see my adult children now. They have successfully grown to be adults who do just that.  I am proud of them for all they have accomplished and continue to do in their lives.  They both have children who I love and adore and I am very grateful to be their Nana.  That being said we are a very small family.  We get together periodically for family events or special holidays.   Mostly we live independently though.   My son moved away from home 30 years ago. He has been living on the other side of the ocean for close to 20 years to follow his career.  His children live there too. I only get to see them via FACETIME when both of our schedules and time zones line up.

My daughter and her family recently moved to a small community just outside of the city where I currently live.  I have spent the most time with my youngest grandson over the past 4 years. He will be starting school in the fall. This means he will not be coming to see Nana during the week any more.  We are all growing older and life is changing.  

Living On My Own

I currently live in a small one room studio in a seniors apartment complex with rent geared to income.  It serves me well. I have easy access to public transportation and a plaza that is just a few minutes walk away.  Living alone means I set my own schedule. I plan my own outings according to how I am feeling from day to day.

I do not see a move in my future anytime soon.  I have landed exactly where I am meant to be just as my children have.  I am like my children. I am independent, self-sufficient, and capable of living a full and meaningful life on my own. I have good friends nearby.   

Listening with My Heart

Right now I feel I am starting a new chapter in my life.  I am turning the page.   I have been very focused on my role as grandmother and that will remain an important part of my life.  I sense that going forward I will be less up close and personal. I will be more in the background, watching them from afar.  I see myself offering what I can when I can. I aim to be a role model for them to look to for guidance. I want to show how to live happily regardless of life’s offerings. Age doesn’t matter in this pursuit.

So what is it that I am seeing and feeling in my heart of hearts right now?  Where do I look for meaning and support?  My spiritual life has been a bit shallow as of late.  I go to church every Sunday and enjoy the services. Seeing the people, many of whom are dear friends, gives me much to be thankful for.  I hear God calling from a distance like an echo in the deep valley surrounded by mountains.   Sometimes I am in the valley. Sometimes I am on the mountainside. Other times, I am an eagle soaring above it all and I just want to fly off into the sunset.

I pray for clarity and guidance. I trust that whatever shows up, I will have the wherewithal to be fully present to what is.  I have seventy one years of life experience.  I am not sure how much longer I have on this Earth in this human suit.  I have a sense that the time for my passing is coming sooner than later. I want to make sure that I have touched all that I came here to touch.  I want to leave a trail of love. I hope this trail will be seen and felt long after I am gone.  

Finding Yourself on a Spiritual Path

So how do I do that?  Who is it I am being called to be and what do I do right now? What is happening in the present? Am I to lead from afar or up close and personal?  Who needs my gifts and where am I to share them?  The world needs compassion and kindness. I could spend all my time telling stories related to both.  Or I could simply listen and be present while others tell their stories and offer them kindness and compassion.  Maybe it requires a bit of both.  

There are so many ways that one can be of service. I choose to be a conduit of LOVE in this world.  Maybe I am thinking too much and not listening to my own heart and soul enough. Maybe I already know where and when to take the next step.  

What I have experienced of late is this.  Just when I feel strong enough to go out into the world and offer my gifts, my body intervenes. It says, “Hold on and take more time out.”  My energy shifts and moves from inside to outside and then back again.  Sometimes when I go out into the world, my empathetic self gets so overwhelmed. I just want to curl up in a ball on my bed and be alone with God.

That is when I pray for more assistance and guidance.  I can’t do it by myself.  I need support and a community to work within. I want to share not just my gifts but also the doubts and concerns I have.  We all could benefit from a soul companion or even a group of soul companions.  

Soul Companions

I have made many dear friends over the years. When I have moved, I kept in touch with most of them.  We are all scattered across the country and some even out of the country.  Thanks to technology we stay in touch with one another and share what is most meaningful.  When I moved from the west coast back to Ontario, I had to start making new friends. I needed to establish myself in a new community.  I was living closer to my daughter. Still, I wanted friends who were like-hearted. I also sought friends who were like-minded and close to my own age. So that has been the focus for the past six years.   It takes time and intention to build a circle of friends who you feel a deep connection with.  It comes with shared experiences and common knowledge of the world around us.  It is a process of opening up and sharing and being vulnerable.

Just after I moved in 2019, the COVID epidemic took hold. I spent a great deal of time at home in my room alone. I read, wrote, and connected with old friends online.  Fortunately,  my daughter and her family were in my bubble and I was able to visit with them quite regularly.  Time has passed now. We have all moved along. We desire to reach out and be present in the world.  Everything is changing and we are changing with it.

This is a good time to pay attention. Go out for a walk. Talk to people passing by. Call friends and invite them for a coffee. Invite a new friend for dinner or an old friend for tea. It is about connecting on many different levels with the world around us. That is how we will find our way together and bring our love into the world. Be loving, kind and compassionate and Love will find you wherever you are. Thanks for being here and spending time reading this. Your presence is felt wherever you are. Peace be with you!

Posted on by Beth 2

I Love Sticks

A few days ago I was out for a walk with my now four year old grandson.  As we were walking I noticed he would stop and pick up a stick and sometimes a stone or two.  When you are that much closer to the ground you notice these things and being a curious four year old he wanted to examine them more closely.  I never know what is going to intrigue him on our walks.  I just know to be prepared to stop and wait for his little body and mind to investigate what he is observing.

On this particular day we decided to walk over to the park near by so he could run around on the grass and play on the jungle gym.  As we approached the park he ran to the trees and began hugging them like they were his old friends.  Like his mother he loves being outside and exploring his surroundings.  

A squirrel scurried by as we walked toward the playground and he stopped to say hello.  The natural world is his home away from home and he is quite happy to just run free like the wind.  Eventually we made it to the swing sets and slides and he began climbing and sliding.  Then he crawled through the tubes and sat in one for quite a while quietly by himself.  I wondered what he was thinking about.

As I watched this little guy entertain himself I was in awe at how much he observes and takes in.  Sometimes he talks about it and lets me know what is on his mind and sometimes he just goes along quietly doing his own thing.

On the way back home he stopped by a gathering of trees to pick up a particular stick he found sitting on the ground in front of him.  He held it in his hand, swung his arms, then he skipped along the path.  As he was skipping he said out loud.  “I just love sticks!”.  That was the highlight of my day.  

Posted on by Beth 0

Waiting: A Journey through Darkness to Light

There are days when the skies are filled with clouds and the sun is hidden behind them.  Some days are darker than others, still when the clouds disappear the sun shines forth and I am lifted up. I am sure many of us are.

What does that mean exactly, lifted up!  Well to me it means seeing something beyond the obvious.  It means allowing the darkness to be illuminated and the wisdom of my heart to be seen and felt within my very being.

Now this is not just a physical phenomenon it is a spiritual experience.  It can happen in the darkest hours of the night or on a cold and snowy day when the winds are blowing so hard you can barely see two feet in front of you.

How and why is this such an enlightened experience then?  Do we have to be experiencing the “dark night of the soul” in order to recognize the wisdom that shines through that darkness?  Or is it something we can access anytime anywhere we choose to?  This is question mystics have been asking and answering for centuries.  We are all Spiritual beings first and foremost and so when we can find our way to trusting in that knowing then we are on our way home. 

Shining a light into the darkest regions of our hearts can be difficult at best and darn right impossible at the very least.  Often we don’t even know where those dark corners are hiding until we come up against a memory or a physical sensation that tells us we have landed on something that needs to be addressed.   What I know from my own experience is when I shine a light in those regions of my being I am not doing it alone.  I have experienced more than once the hand of what I call God taking my hand and leading me as well as comforting me along the way.

It is not always easy to explain what this looks or feels like for me, still I know it to be true.  I can shift my thoughts away from sorrow and sadness to love and compassion on the turn of a dime if I am connecting in that moment.  It is not always that easy though.  Still at times it can be.  Learning the process of mindfulness is one of the best ways I know of to shift gears and learn how to be present with all that is presenting itself in any given moment.

Still there are many moments when my heart is aching and my mind is telling me that I have every reason to be sad, angry or disappointed.  It is in those moments that I need to take a step back and look at myself from the perspective of one who is witnessing myself in pain.  It is not a problem to be solved.  It is simply an observation of something that is happening in the moment.  Sometimes it only takes a few minutes for me to see myself in a different light.  Other times it takes days even months to move through that dark time and find the light on the other side.

This is the value and joy of having a human experience.  To be able to eventually shift our way of seeing what is before us and finding the diamonds sparkling in the sawdust of all that has been working away at us over time.  Psychologists may argue that the dark regions are there because of the negative experiences we have had up until that moment we see them differently.  They may be right.  I have had many experiences that I have reframed over my lifetime and others that I can not let go of.  They are painfully resting in my heart waiting for me to let go and let God take them over.  

Hanging on to such negativity is, in a way, a form of self protection.  As long as I remember what it feels like to be so hurt or angry or even fearful then I am somehow protecting myself from it happening again.  If only that were true.  The reality is that as long as I hang on to all the pain I am only reliving the original experience over and over again.  So I am learning more and more how to live in the now and live through the pain until it is no longer hurting me.  It becomes a story that I can tell and has no particular affect on how I am feeling now.  This is something that I truly believe comes with the aging process.  It is a way of looking at the world and my life in context of what is now rather than what was then.

I learned to be more consciously aware of my human shortcomings when I was caring for my aging mother and my young children.  My mother talked over and over again about all the ways she was hurt in the past by family members.  She could not let it go and so everyone around her was forced to listen to her ongoing rhetoric about all the times she was ignored or left with no support when she was going through difficult times. Finally she cut herself off from her family all together.  At the end of her life, my sister and I were the only ones left who she was talking to and our children of course.  

As I age I am determined not to be the same way with my family members.  I am not sure how successful I am in that regard still I am doing my best to be present to what is now and to take responsibility for whatever I am feeling at any given point in time.  

Being an aging parent I hold a certain expectation of my children which they may or may not be able to live up to.  They don’t know what those expectations are neither do I know what their expectations are of me.  Unless we have the conversation which for us is damn hard I may go to my grave wondering what I could have done differently or how I would liked to have been treated differently.  

Ultimately, it is for us to make peace within ourselves and leave no stone unturned until we are assured that we have done the very best we could at any given point in time.  By then the light will shine for us in all the corners of our hearts so that Love can prevail above all else.  That is how I want to leave this world some day.

Posted on by Beth 5

Managing Hearing Loss: A Personal Journey

I am in my seventies now and I encounter a lot of people who admit they are living with some degree of hearing impairment as I am. Many have chosen to get hearing aids to help them manage conversations better. Others get along without the use of any form of aid. They choose this option mostly because they are not ready, not because they could not benefit from them. Others have tried them and just don’t like them for various reasons. If you are one of the lucky ones who has exceptional hearing then I am happy for you. Your ears and brain are still functioning at the top of your game.

Hearing loss is most often gradual and for some of us that means the people around us usually notice before we do that we are not hearing as well as we used to. We gradually learn to adapt by lip reading or other methods of communication. So we think we are doing fine. The truth is most of us are not. We are just working harder than we need to and are exhausting our nervous systems in the process. Living alone we often don’t notice that the tv or radio is on louder than it used to be. Even when we live with someone we blame them for mumbling or talking at us from another room.

Early Diagnosis

I have been hard of hearing since I was eighteen years old. The doctor told me then I had the hearing of someone in their sixties. It has been gradually getting worse since then. I got my first pair of hearing aids when I was twenty-two. Thus began my life long journey of learning how to adapt and hear and communicate in a world that is not user friendly for the hard of hearing. Loud noises or even music playing in the background can interfere with how hard someone has to work to listen. I must say though that technology has really improved over the decades and I am doing better now than I did in my thirties even though I hear less.

I have had years to study how the loss of hearing can affect my ability to socialize. For years I did not go to the movies because I missed too much of the dialogue and the background sound effects are too loud. I only went to foreign films with sub-titles. Now there is a device some theatres offer called Rearview Captioning that you can borrow. It goes in the cup holder and shows the subtitles under the screen. It works great. Now I can go to movies again.

When watching television I always have the closed captioning on or I don’t watch it at all. I lived without a television for more than ten years. I also avoided large gatherings of people for a long time because it was too hard to hear when I engaged in conversation. Sometimes I would go but would then sit quietly by myself just observing what was happening around me and usually people didn’t seem to notice. So even though I was out and about and trying to socialize with my friends or engage in the world, I often felt isolated and alone in the crowd. Eventually I made sure I did more one on one activities because that was easier for me to manage.

Ways We Adapt

What I have observed recently is how well I have adapted by learning all sorts of responses to give when I don’t really understand what someone has said to me without cutting off the conversation. I might say something like “that’s interesting or right or that makes sense….” The other person carries on talking assuming I am understanding them and I just sit quietly and “listen” as hard as I can to what they are saying hoping I will understand enough and have something equally as engaging to share when it is my turn to speak.

This is a learned behaviour that has developed over a long period of time. Listening is really hard work for someone with a hearing impairment, and sometimes we just don’t have the energy or ability to focus that long. So we learn to fake it or isolate ourselves so we don’t have to and that can get lonely. Most of us take longer to process information so long periods of silence in between sharing information is so helpful. In todays world though I have noticed that silence makes people uncomfortable. So they try to fill it up by talking more.

My granddaughter asked me a few months ago “Nana why do you say ‘right’ so much when I am talking to you?” That was the first time I was aware I was doing it and at the time I didn’t know why I did. So after observing my behaviour I came to realize it was because I didn’t understand everything she was saying to me still I wanted to acknowledge her. I have learned over the years that most people do not like having to repeat themselves if you let them know you did not understand what they said. Often they will just say “never mind it’s not important” which cuts the conversation short and leaves the listener feeling left out.

Challenges Along the Way

Many people speak very quickly and often cover their mouths with their hands or turn their face so the listener can’t see them. Children have higher pitched voices and talk quickly going from one subject to another which often makes it hard to follow. I have tried my best to remind my grandchildren to face me when they talk with me and also to speak more slowly so I can understand everything they say because what they tell me is important to me. I did the same with my children when they were growing up. The truth is I am the one doing most of the adapting. Most of my friends and even my family have a hard time remembering I am hearing impaired. My own mother told me once I never think about it. You always do so well. Yes I do and it is very hard work sometimes.

Like most things in life change is gradual as we get older. Our bodies slow down and we learn to take things at a steady pace. Many of my friends who now have the experience of not understanding or hearing as well as they were used to are saying to me “how did you do it for all those years?”. I tell them that is a very good question. The answer is I learned to listen with my whole self – not just my ears. I developed a keen sense of observation and learned to put things in context so I could fill in the gaps. I also developed my intuition so that I could figure out what someone was talking about. I am a good listener and I listen a lot to other people. My heart is always open so what I don’t understand with my head I can feel in my heart and I respond as best I can.

The Gift of Silence and Solitude

Some of my closest companions over the years have been authors of books that I have read. When I find myself alone, not ready to venture out into the world I choose to be quiet at home with a good book. It is often one written by someone and about something I can relate to. It helps me feel connected and not so isolated and alone. I refer to my books as my friends because the words that they contain offer solace to my soul when I need it most.

I found myself wanting to pull back more and more these past few months and I wrote about it recently. What I was noticing was that my hearing was getting worse and I was more and more tired after I was in a group setting. I saw my audiologist today and she confirmed for me what I had suspected. I have lost more hearing. So she adjusted my hearing aids and hopefully that will help improved things for me when it comes to understanding and taking part in social activities. Still I am aware that the fatigue is a side affect of hearing impairment and I must take time out in silence to restore my energy and not over task my nervous system.

If you can relate to any of what I am sharing here then I encourage you to take time to regroup and if you haven’t already done so get your hearing checked. Taking care of our bodies so that we can live a rich and vibrant life is key to our well being.

Posted on by Beth 4

Vision Past, Present and Future

As the the year 2024 comes to an end and the beginning of 2025 is fast approaching I find myself wondering what has made the biggest impact on me this year. I am also contemplating what is in store for me next year. I am sure I am not alone in this. This is the time of year when many of us are taking time for reflection as we seek light in the darkness.

Seeing clearly is not always easy

So as I look back over this past year I can honestly say the biggest impact on me was having my eyes done. I had cataract surgery at the end of November 2023 and things did not go as well as expected. I spent the next eleven months visiting the surgeon’s office once a month and being treated for an inflamed iris in both eyes. It was not only inconvenient to make the long trek back and forth to his office it was down right annoying as I often had to wait for up to two hours for a 10 minute consultation. The waiting room was packed with people. At my final appointment I was told my eyes were completely healed.

Still my eye sight has changed and that has impacted me in more ways than I ever thought possible. My vision is often blurry now even with my corrective lenses. It is annoying and disorienting. When I am out walking I often feel off balance because my depth perception is poor. It takes practice to walk slowly while paying close attention to where I step. This is both a gift and a curse.

Reading is another issue that I have had trouble with this past year. Whether reading online or in paper format I can only focus for short periods of time before my eyes are strained and things get blurry. This has taken great patience on my part. I am learning to rest my eyes more often. Looking ahead to the new year I am hoping that my optometrist will be able to offer solutions to my vision issues. New glasses perhaps.

As I look into my heart I seek greater clarity for my life in general. I am noticing that my “Vision” for the new year is a bit out of focus. I am not sure where I am headed or what I am looking forward to experiencing. Still, I have set some very general intentions for myself. I seek to be at peace within and live one day at a time. I intend to make the most of each day I am given. That includes doing something kind for someone else every day. I want to play more and read as much as I can. It would be nice to be entertaining and spend time with those who I can laugh and be myself with.

Vision

My spirit eyes see something more in the future though. My Spirit wants to soar and rise above the many conflicts and the pain around the world. It wants to seek out where Love is in the midst of all the suffering and find places where Peace can land.

I am also being invited to take a deep dive into the areas of my own life that are needing more Love — whether it be caring for my soul, body or others who need to be nurtured. It is time for me to step out as a bright light in the world. To be fully present and be hopeful even when it is hard to do.

There have been times in my life when I have been accused of wearing rose coloured glasses or burying my head in the sand when it comes to conflict. That was not how it felt for me though. It is more about looking for where the cracks are in the walls of darkness and shining a light there so that others can see through the darkness. My life story is riddled with all different kinds of conflicts. I had to learn to navigate my way through each one. Those experiences gave me a deeper capacity for compassion. When I see a person on the street who is suffering my heart goes out to them. Often there is little I can to do help them so I simply acknowledge them and say hello tell them my name and ask them theirs. Even that small connection can help them feel less alone. After the encounter I always ask for them to be blessed and taken care of. 

Sometimes we are called to be a lighthouse in the storms of life.

My sense is that there are big changes coming for all of us as the future unfolds. This is a time when fear and terror will want to grab a hold of us and it is important that we resist it and maintain a strong barrier of Love all around us. Many will say that is easier said than done and they may be right. Still when we are in the presence of Holy Love or when Holy Love calls to us from the darkness we are being offered a gift. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is let go of the Fear and accept the gift of Love freely given.

My wish and prayer for you dear reader is that you be surrounded by Love every day and that you have the experience of Peace that passes all understanding today and for all days ahead. May you shine brightly.

Posted on by Beth 2

A Christmas Angel

This week on December 19th my daughter, the youngest of my two children, will celebrate her 40th birthday. After she was born we came home and settled in for Christmas. It was a magical time. As I looked into her sweet baby eyes I knew I was in the presence of a dear little Angel. Her big brother who was six at the time, went shopping for a Christmas gift and chose an Angel tree topper. It was a family tradition every year after that to bring that Angel out and place it on the top of our tree. Over the years during my many moves I lost track of it and this year I found a new one called JOY.

That little baby is now married and mother of three children of her own. When I am with her and her family at this time of year I am reminded of that first Christmas when she came into the world. It has been my honour to be her mother over the years as she grew up to become the beautiful woman she is today.

Forty years have gone by so fast. It is hard to remember now all those milestones she went through and all the ways she has touched our lives. Still my heart glows in her presence and she is still an Angel to me.

Like her big brother before her, my daughter always made Christmas a special time for our family. When they were small their excitement filled the room as we gathered around the tree on Christmas morning. Later in the day we often had dinner with grandparents.

Now my son lives across the ocean in Berlin, Germany with his family and the grandparents are all gone. Aunts and Uncles, and cousins have moved away and we have lost touch for the most part. Family gatherings are much smaller now. Still my daughter and her family live close by me and we often gather with members of her husband’s family to celebrate the Love that is still all around us. My daughter continues the family tradition with her children as they gather around their tree on Christmas Day.

When we have our family gatherings I am happy to be one of the three grandmothers who sit at the table watching the excitement of the little ones and the bigger ones as they soak up all the love that surrounds them. There have been years when I have spent Christmas on my own. Those were the years when I lived far away or when my daughter and her family took a family vacation. Still I was never alone because I have so many wonderful memories to keep me company.

Christmas when I was a child was also magical as my father and mother always had many traditions that they kept each year. My younger sister and I grew up surrounded by people who loved us and they created an atmosphere at Christmas that gave us the foundation that is still carried on today.

I give thanks every day for my family past and present and for all the ways I was and am loved. I have been shown both the magic and the mystery of this time we call Christmas. Over 2000 years ago a light so bright shone in the world and Holy Love was born in human form.

May you know that Holy Love this year and trust that no matter your circumstances you are a bright light that shines in the darkness.

Peace be with you always.

Posted on by Beth 0

Hope, Peace, Joy and Love

The season of Advent is now being observed by many Christian churches around the world. I have to admit this is one of my favourite seasons because it reminds me to slow right down and take stock of where I am right now. It is so easy to rush toward Christmas and get caught up in all the holiday advertising and activities. I know there is a certain amount of planning and shopping to be done for our celebrations on Christmas Day and into the New Year. Still it does not have to consume me. I would much rather stay home and practice being quiet and listening to what my heart is longing for and what it wants to share.

In the Celtic tradition we are also leading up to the winter solstice which is an honouring of the darkness as the days get shorter and nights longer. This too is a time of quiet reflection and being still with what is before us.

As we are being invited to get busy and to get out and do our shopping, decorating our homes, preparing meals and having guests over, I also invite you to take a few minutes each day to notice where the darkness is presenting itself in your life. Are you wanting to go to bed earlier at night? Do you want to curl up in front a fire or light some candles and turn off the lights? Are you thinking of someone you haven’t seen or heard from for a while and want to reach out?

The first week of December we began with the theme of HOPE. This is not an easy message for many of us who are struggling with the pressures and demands of family life, work life, financial strain, food insecurity, health concerns and the list goes on. Many are grieving the loss of a loved one or are preparing to say good bye as their loved one is slowly leaving this world. Others are missing children and grandchildren who live far away. Still it is a time of great hope for families who prepare to be together travelling from distant locations. It is a time when children are excited to be surprised by gifts they will receive. It is a time when we as a community reach out and offer whatever we can to give others hope where it may be missing.

This second week of December we reflect on the message of PEACE. I think about the phrase “Peace that Passes All Understanding”. That is what I strive for and long for each and every day and especially now in this war torn world where it seems almost impossible to achieve. Yet the message of HOPE reminds us that PEACE is not an outcome rather a state of being. When we take time to be at PEACE within ourselves then we can bring peace into all that we do and everywhere we go. It is not something that just happens it needs our conscious awareness to come out of the darkness and into the light.

Coming up to the third week of December we can begin to celebrate the Joy of the Season. We can see the lights all around us at night. The moon has gone from dark to brighter and shines upon us illuminating all the beauty of this Earth as we so often rush on past or ignore it. Again we are invited to stop, slow down and experience the JOY of being present with and for each other no matter our circumstances. Take time to say hello and smile at a stranger. Take time to help an elderly neighbour or play with a small child who is longing for attention. Wherever you find yourself during this week practise finding joy in the little things. Listen to music that makes your heart glow with JOY. Pay attention to what sparks JOY for you and do it!

Finally the fourth week of December we will be focused on LOVE. The LOVE that came into the world with a light so bright that many tried to put it out. This LOVE will not be denied though because it is the essence of who each of us are and where we came from. We only need to acknowledge it and allow it to touch us to know that it is there. No matter if we are all alone or surrounded by crowds of people we are enveloped in LOVE. Accepting that as a matter of course and being willing to honour that in yourself and then in others is the greatest gift of all.

So dear readers may you know the gifts of HOPE, PEACE, JOY AND LOVE, during these weeks as they grow darker. May you find time and energy to give thanks for these gifts you have been given. Trust in the knowing that no matter your circumstances you are precious and a gift to humanity. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I am forever grateful for your presence.

Posted on by Beth 0

Confessions of a Caregiver

I have been reading a lot about caregiver burnout lately. I have friends who have people in their lives who they are caring for. I hear them tell me it is more and more difficult to keep going because they too are tired and need help themselves. Still being a dedicated caregiver means they carry on because there are no real alternatives unless there is money available to invest in paid service providers. Even then if they have the resources the demand is getting greater and the supply is limited. Not everyone has the extra money to spend though. So many caregivers are putting their own health at risk while caring for someone else in their family or a dear friend. Community resources are very limited right now and in some cases long wait lists are a barrier to getting the support needed.

All this can also lead to elder abuse which is also an even bigger problem in our communities right now. As a growing population of seniors age and become more and more isolated from family and friends they are at greater risk of being ignored and neglected. Many of them have lost interest and live with severe depression or worse, dementia. They are not able to access the supports they need or even to ask for help. It is a very sad reflection on how our society views the important role our elders can play in our society.

As we age, more and more demand is put on self care as the only means to continue living with dignity. What if you are a single woman, living independently. What if you have chronic medical conditions such as diabetes, hearing loss, arthritis and diet sensitivities such as dairy or gluten. What if you are living on a very low fixed income and are doing everything you can to manage your finances.

I confess that I am living with all those conditions and more. Sometimes I feel burned out. Taking care of myself is a full time job. There are days when I just want to quit the job and find a better one that is more fun. If only that were possible…hahaha…. By the time I take care of myself, my finances, and my home I have very little reserves left for other things.

So what I am learning in this process?

  • I am learning to be very grateful for my body that carries me through life relatively pain free rather than bemoaning it.
  • I am learning to be grateful for the amazing care team of doctors who monitor my health conditions and help me to stay on track. So many of my friends who are in similar situations are not so lucky.
  • I am being reminded that if I want to have fun I need to find it in the process of my daily living
  • I am looking to find a hobby that I can do at home on a tight budget that is fun for me to do
  • I am learning to do things slowly and steadily until everything is taken care of
  • I am learning to keep reaching out to my friends and staying in contact with my family
  • I am learning that taking a day off to just rest and restore from time to time is good self care
  • I am learning that having a Spiritual practice really helps me stay focused and present in the now
  • I am learning to laugh at and with myself more when I hear myself whining or complaining and to give myself more love

So dear readers whether you are a caregiver for someone else or for yourself or both, take time out to be grateful and kind to yourself. Learn to laugh at the antics of your wounded self and to love yourself even more because you are so worth it. If you are aware of a senior living alone take a minute to check in on them from time to time. Just knowing that someone is thinking about you can make all the difference.

Have a great day!

Posted on by Beth 4

If Ever There Was…..

If ever there was a time in my life to feel unhinged now would be it.  I have been through so much and seen so much adversity in my life that it seems almost impossible to imagine feeling so unhinged at this time when things are so settled for me.  Still I am feeling it.  

There is so much evidence to show how hope is lacking in this world right now. I need to feel it and find it for myself.  We are plagued with messages of despair that are seen around the world.  Yet in and amongst all that rhetoric there is hidden the undeniable truth that love is greater than fear.

This Sunday I heard our minister preach on the story of Ruth and Naomi showing us how in the thrust of such an unfriendly and unfathomable prejudice against women and against foreigners there was a love so deep that nothing could separate them.  I believe that we are moving through a time of such huge divisiveness that we can hardly find that centre point.  I want to trust that the love we have for ourselves will translate into love of neighbour.  I want to trust that the love of God can carry us all through this time of great debate and ultimately learn through diversity.  Still my hope and trust is being challenged in ways I have no answers for.  Where is that middle point?  How do we rise above the terror and tension we are feeling these days to see the bigger picture and envision a brighter future.  

My own personal anxiety has been escalating over the past several days without warning or any particular thoughts going through my mind.   Still my heart is feeling it and I know it is the collective thrust of anger that is driving it.  Anger that is really a cover up for fear of what is coming next.  We are all, in this part of the world where I live, hanging on the edge of what is about to be a world altering event — the election in the United States.  Never in my lifetime do I remember being so fearful about what is happening so close to home.  I am also so sad that we can not have open and honest conversations about our own perspectives and being able to hear those who share a different perspective without feeling divided and separated from one another.  There is this us and them mentality that is permeating the air we breathe and even if we step away and isolate ourselves it is still there.  As a sensitive soul I feel it regardless and it is unearthing so much confusion and steadfast fear of the otherness that I am not able to embrace it with it love.  It is like a black cloud is hovering over me.  I am stuck on the fence trying to stay neutral. Yet I am falling off from time to time and losing my grip on reality.

If ever there was a time when prayer and quiet were needed now is it.  I need to feel that deep abiding love that transcends all else and can bring me back to my own love and light in this world.  I want to light candles and give the world a huge hug.  I want to remind myself and others that we are not alone in this and that no matter our spiritual expression there is hope that we can live on and trust in the greater good of all humankind.

My mind is so confused right now about the turmoil in the middle east and the fight for a greater good in the Ukraine.  There is so much fighting and waring happening in places I know not of and yet I feel it in my heart.  Please God take this pain and hurt that we are inflicting upon each other and ultimately upon ourselves and transform it with us and for us.  

If ever there was a time when we need to reach out to one another and give thanks for our relationship now is the time.  We need to hold each others hands and keep on moving forward.  We need to stand with each other and hold up the sky with kindness and compassion for ourselves and one another no matter our differences, no matter our fears, there is something much greater at work here and when we tap into that we can hold the space together.

Our children’s future is at stake here and we can not let them down.  Our grandchildren came into this world with their own bright lights and are here to remind us that life on earth is precious and not to be squandered away on divisiveness.  We can take different roads and have different ways of finding our way home.  We can do it together and alone.  Whatever road or way we choose let us be understanding and seek peace within our differences.  Let us be examples to the upcoming generation of how to live with one another in the Global Community we currently reside in.  Let us live the message of hope and continue to share with one another the gift of life giving peace that passes all understanding by loving each other.  May we find Joy again in the living of our hope and may we know within ourselves that which transcends the human world and takes us to the soul world where we are all one with each other.

May it be so!

Posted on by Beth 0

Earth Angels: Spreading Love and Peace in a Chaotic World

Calling All Angels

From the time I was a little girl I have had a fascination with angels.  I watched so many movies about angels and always loved the idea that there are angels out there somewhere looking out for us.  When my daughter was born my son picked out a beautiful Angel tree topper to put on our Christmas tree because his sister was born just six days before Christmas.  We lovingly referred to her as our Christmas Angel.  The tree topper was always the last thing to go on our Christmas tree each year.   Somehow having that angel looking out from the top the tree always made me feel good like she was a part of us.

I used to have a whole collection of little angels that sat on the windowsill in my apartment in Victoria, BC. Some were made of pottery, others were china and there was one little one that was actually a place card holder made of stainless steel with a brass halo.  I think two of them were salt and pepper shakers.  I can’t quite remember. Often I imagined each of the little angels had their own personality and I would talk with them. As with so many of my things, they were passed on to others when I made the move from BC to Ontario. The Angel that hung on my door came with me though.  Her name is Agnes. She comes out every year at Christmas to welcome people into my home.   I think my daughter still has the Christmas Angel tree topper.

Moving into my elder years I have developed a deeper appreciation for the angelic realm.  I know now that angels really do exist because I have encountered them.  Some of us even know people who we believe to be “Earth Angels” or angels who have come to Earth to help spread love and peace in a very chaotic world.

Regardless of whether you believe in angels or not I have no doubt you have had an experience of someone, an acquaintance or total stranger perhaps, who has offered you a special kindness that you were not expecting and left you feeling touched in a truly meaningful way.

These encounters are not always big moments. Perhaps someone whose path you crossed just took a moment to look you in the eye and smile at you as they passed by, wishing you a good day.  Somehow that moment made an otherwise tough day better and you felt seen and deeply touched to your core.  Has that ever happened to you?

I remember being at the grocery store one day and the woman behind me paid for my groceries, just because. As far as I know, she had no way of knowing that I only had a little bit of money and was hoping it was enough to cover the cost.  I had picked everything carefully and added up the cost before heading to the check out.  Perhaps I looked anxious as the cashier rang everything in, I don’t know.  For all intents and purposes I could have been just fine to pay for my own groceries and yet she decided to do a good deed for another human being that day and I just happened to be on the receiving end.   Was she an Earth Angel?  I don’t know.  Did she read my mind?  Again, I don’t know still I felt blessed.

What I do know for sure is there are people who make it their mission in life to spread love and offer peace to their fellow human beings and if that makes them an angel then so be it.  Either way it is a wonderful experience to be in their company and be on the receiving end of their generosity.

For me being kind and generous is a way of loving and offering the peace that passes all understanding to the world around me.  I trust that where there is compassion love follows.  We can all be more mindful of the beings around us and be more present to their goodness even if we have to look a little deeper sometimes.  

So wherever you are right now, dear reader I am curious to know if you have had experiences with angels or perhaps you are one yourself.   Feel free to tell me about it in the comments below if you would like to.  Thank you for reading and considering the possibility of Angels among us.  Have a great day.

Posted on by Beth 4

Thriving in Senior Years: Embracing Life’s Challenges with Resilience and Love

This summer I have had a renewed faith in life.  I have crossed over a threshold.   While entering a new decade I have grown more in tune with my own inner guidance system.   That gives me reason to be open to what is unfolding for me and trusting that no matter what transpires I am up for it.

My faith and belief in a higher power has provided me with a deep knowing and wisdom that comes from living life each day without fear and giving into the love that is present in and around me.

Questioning My Purpose

There have been times, many times, in my life when I have questioned the purpose and reason for my being here.  Once my children had grown and left the nest and my work life was over I could see very little value in the every day things that made up my life.  In fact it seemed to me to be a chore just to live and that was more of a burden than a gift.

My income has been well below the poverty line most of my life and that has had a huge impact on my world view.  As a woman with a limited education and living with a hearing impairment since my early twenties, I have had to work very hard to keep my head above water.  I have been brave, innovative and adventurous in ways even I marvel at sometimes.  Still I have always been doing what I could to simply survive rather than thrive.

Finding a New Perspective

In my sixties I began to look at life through a different lens and started asking myself important questions about where I could best insert myself so that my years of life experience could be put to good use.   I wanted all that I have lived through to count for something and to offer something to those I met along the way.  I wanted to be the example of what a sense of hope and resilience can look like, knowing  only comes from living through those tough experiences.  I started talking more about my experiences to close friends and even my family.  I stopped holding back and keeping my thoughts to myself.  I shared what I had been through and what I was currently living with.  Then others started sharing with me what they experienced and so the stories unfolded page by page.

Talking to God

I have been on a spiritual journey my entire life.  From a very young age I would talk with God and ask for help and pose questions about things I did not understand. God was never an old man in the sky to me.  God was a part of me that I knew and trusted was somehow connected to something bigger and wiser and knew more than I ever could.  I found I could connect to that power just by closing my eyes and breathing and listening for that still small voice or by talking out loud to whatever I knew that power to be. God didn’t always speak to me in words or in a male voice. I often heard her speak as a woman  especially when I was older. Sometimes I simply had a physical sensation that came over my whole body or a feeling of deep and abiding love that gave me reason to trust all is well no matter how bad things seemed.  My faith in that sometimes overwhelming feeling got me through some very scary times.  My heart got broken sometimes and I made many some bad decisions that cost me dearly along the way, still through it all I knew I was never alone.

Accepting the Changes in My Body

Now I have stepped quietly into the next decade of my seventies and that has given way to some really challenging and unexpected revelations.  Some of my body functions are diminishing and my physical strength is weaker than it was even a few months ago.  I was recently asked by someone older and wiser than me, and who I have a great deal of respect for, whether I choose to push on and through the changes or whether I choose to simply accept them and adjust my life accordingly.

That is a really good question and one I need to sit with because I don’t think there is a simple one answer fits all to the question.  There are some things I know for sure.  I am not an exercise person so going to a class to gain more physical strength is something I choose to avoid.  I choose to get up and move around, to dance to the music that is playing on my bluetooth speaker and walk with my friends and grandchildren.  That is how I keep up my physical strength.  If that is not enough then I will accept that my muscles are getting weaker and adjust myself accordingly.

Pushing Through the Challenges

I used to love cooking and preparing food for myself.  I never liked the clean up part though.  Still I did both because that was the only way I could afford to eat and nourish myself.  Now I live in a tiny studio apartment with a very small kitchen so I have come to accept that food preparation and clean up are both more challenging.  Sometimes I choose to push through this one and find easier ways of preparing my foods.  I no longer make big meals which require lots of dishes to wash and put away.  Simple one dish meals are my go to.  I don’t own a microwave so sometimes I eat leftovers cold.  They taste just as good and there is only one dish to wash.  My food budget does not go as far as it used to, as so many of us are experiencing, still there are times I choose to eat out because I just want someone to serve me.  Accepting that and allowing myself that little bit of luxury now and again has made such a difference in how I feel about nourishing myself.  I haven’t reached the tea and toast stage yet though I can see how that happens.   Fortunately, many of my friends are in the same position so we spend time together enjoying a light meal and each others company.  We encourage each other to just keep on keeping on.  Food security is a huge problem among seniors these days.  Fortunately there are some programs to help us out.

Aging Consciously

These past few months have given me lots to ponder and look at through the lens of Aging Consciously.  Those of my generation are aging and many are doing it in the same way we have lived our lives up until now.  We have been self aware and conscious of the the ways in which we interact in the world so why would any of that change just because we are getting older.  There are so many books written about this very subject and so many memoirs are being written to give meaning to our lives.  We are reading them because we want to see how others have lived and are aging as well as to see ourselves in the mirror of those pages.

Not everyone is cut out to be a writer or an artist or playwright or filmmaker.  Still most of us are cut out to be an audience of such creative endeavours.  I for one am thrilled when I come across a good story about older people especially older women who are finding meaning and purpose in life long into their later years.  It gives me hope for my own future.  As well I think it shows the world that growing older does not mean we have to give up on life.  Our worlds may get smaller as we lose our independence and our minds may get more confused still we are alive and our hearts are pumping blood through our veins.   That must mean we are here for a reason.   Maybe our purpose is to give someone else a reason to care for a fellow human being.  None of us really knows or maybe some us do.  Perhaps the older I get the clearer that will become.

What I am learning is that we may not know our reason or purpose for being here and it doesn’t really matter because we are here and that means we need to simply enjoy even the most mundane things in life.  We are here as a testament of a life lived through decades of change and sometimes struggle and those who really see us can bear witness to that fact, even total strangers.   

Love has brought us into this world and Love will take us out when it is time.  For now though what  I know for sure is LIFE IS WORTH LIVING everyday.

Posted on by Beth 5

Finding Purpose and Meaning in Old Age: Soul and Body Connection

I turned 70 years old just a couple of months ago and this month I feel soul weary, old and isolated.  I am tired of being on my own and carrying the whole load by myself.  Even the simple things like housework — dishes, garbage removal, laundry, meal preparation, grocery shopping —- have become daunting tasks to face every day.  Nothing seems finished.  I just get one thing done and it is ready to do again.  The energy it takes uses up whatever energy I may have for other more fun things.

When I take the time to work away at the basic tasks a bit at a time, things get done and I am energized and happy to sit down and admire the results of my efforts. Then I have a nice clean space to “play” in. I can sit at my table and do art or work on a piece of writing that I had been putting off.

When the Body Gets Tired

Sometimes, though, I feel old and weary as I deal with my physical body issues.  Hearing loss has been an issue for 50 years and has now become more of a detriment. My ability to process information quickly like I did when I was younger, has diminished.  It takes longer for me to take things in. At group meetings I fall behind losing the opportunity to offer my insights or opinions on things. Then I feel apart and isolated.   It is important that I speak up and let the group know what I am experiencing as I am sure others would appreciate slowing down as well.  We all need time to reflect upon what is said.  Still my confidence in myself to articulate clearly what it is I want them to know about the process needs work.  I don’t think quickly on my feet any more so I need to be prepared.

When You are Soul Weary

What does my Soul need to help me feel more connected? What does my body need to feel more energized?  Being with friends and family who really know me and accept me for who I am helps a lot.  Being on my own too much is not the answer. It is a balancing act. I like to be able to spend time with myself and my own thoughts and feelings. I also enjoy being with others. Listening attentively to others is an important part of who I am.  It is also hard work for me due to my hearing impairment.  So I need time to rest and restore. Again there is a balance required.

When to Ask the Questions that Lead to the Best Answers

Maybe it is not an answer I am looking for rather the right question to be asking myself and even God.  Perhaps then the answers will come naturally.  Finding the right or best question is often a task that requires some deep thought and exploration into the heart and soul of what I am actually feeling right now.  I describe it as being weary and maybe there is more to it than that.  

As my body slows down at times it takes longer to do things. My mind is often racing ahead looking for the meaning and purpose in what I am engaged in.  The simple tasks seem meaningless and inconsequential and yet it is those very things that give me quality of life.  At least a type of quality that I  appreciate.  I want to wear clean fresh clothes therefore the laundry must get done.  I want the garbage out of my home.  I want clean dishes to eat off of so dishes must be washed and I want good food to enjoy so shopping and cooking is necessary. All these tasks could be seen as mediative/spiritual practices rather than onerous tasks to complete if I so chose.  What if I only ever got all those things taken care of each and every day?  Would my life have purpose and meaning?  

So there in lies the question. “What gives my life purpose and meaning?”  If feeling old and weary means I have lost something valuable then what is it that I need to reclaim and find new ways to embrace?  The old “What If” questions come to me.

So, really I am asking if I should stop stressing about doing chores and start seeing it as taking care of my space and myself and if that would make a difference in my motivation. I am wondering if I believed I had the energy to do things, how would my life change. I am curious if this change of perspective would make me see things differently and if I would find new sources of energy. Basically, I feel out of shape, tired, and unmotivated, and I am asking for help and understanding.

Having Purpose and Meaning in Life

I wonder too, what is so important about having purpose for your life.  Is it not enough to simply be here and offer kindness to others now and again and to take care of your small part of the planet as best you can?  What is the difference between having meaning and having purpose?  I think it is the same as the difference between being and doing.  Meaning and being account for how we feel and what we experience on a soul level while purpose and doing allow for what action we take.  Again the yin and yang of life.  One without the other feels off balance.  Our bodies feel off balance and sluggish if we don’t get up and move around from time to time.  That’s the simple doing.  It doesn’t have to be any more complex than that.  Still the being part requires one to settle the mind and keep away from busy mind syndrome that takes us off on all kinds of emotional roller coaster rides. It requires “down” time to be able to be quiet and listen from the inside out and hear the spiritual voice of our own knowing.

Dealing with the emotional side of things is the hardest for me to be at peace with. I get so caught up in all sorts of emotional conundrums when I spend too much time on my own analyzing how I am feeling.  I focus too much on waiting for something to shift and change when what would really makes me happiest is living with a more accepting heart — trusting that all is well in my world regardless of how things appear in the present moment.  Easier said than done though.  Just when I think I am doing well and taking care of business as required I begin to feel rather lack lustre.  My heart longs for a more meaningful connection to life.  There is also a need for a creative outlet where my thoughts and feelings can find expression together.  

The deeper meaning of and need for connection is something I hear a lot among my peers.  We are often physically and socially isolated from the bigger picture in the world.  Some of that is by choice and some of it is because we no longer fit into the world that is evolving.  When we don’t have the opportunity for regular interaction with multi-generational activities then we lose sight of the bigger picture and become so introspective that we live mostly in the past because the present is just too boring or the current world problems are too overwhelming.  

The Importance of Interdependence

There was a time when multiple generations lived together and worked together in the same home, work place or even church community. Elders were revered story tellers and teachers. Now we are isolated in ways never before heard of.  We live in high-rise buildings segregated in little compartments.  We build fences around our homes so we don’t have to interact with neighbours.  We live in retirement homes away from schools and many of us have no family to visit us. Young people are conversing with people around the world via internet and don’t take the time to visit their grandparents who live just a few miles away if they have them.  Grandparents don’t take time to get to know about technology and how to use it or what the young people are up to so they have no common ground to relate to.  We are self compartmentalizing and that leaves us more and more confused about what is coming. There is no room for multi-generation collaboration any more.   My generation and the one just before me are living longer lives and yet are being warehoused in long term care facilities where they can be ignored and forgotten.

So what is the answer to this age old and old age dilemma?  Perhaps we are not meant to live together as multi-generational communities anymore.  Perhaps we are better off being segregated and living as communities of like minded and like hearted human beings.  I think not.  We can not keep breaking away from one another.  We must find new ways to come together to create that sense of belonging and interdependence.  It is what makes us human.  We live more and more in a global community where people of all nations and walks of life are faced with issues such as climate change and economic diversity.

When I sit alone in my own little studio away from the world at large I am only temporarily taking time out from the global issues because sooner or later they come knocking on my door and I can no long pretend that I don’t care any more. 

What Do We Really Care About?

That is my biggest issue with my life and question that I ask myself regularly.  What is it that I really care about?  What have I stopped caring about that I need to care about more?  Who do I care about?  Who do I know and trust cares about me?

When I stop caring I become lack lustre.  My heart stops radiating love and my mind stops wondering.  I become bored and boring in all the ways that make a difference.  This is what happens when I focus too much on the lack in my life and not enough on the wealth of love and light in my life.

Yes there are times when I feel old and soul weary and that is a natural part of living and aging.  The good news is I never stay there for long because there is far too much for me to be grateful for, learn about and offer from my years of experience.

What about you? How is your life unfolding? Do you feel bright and shiny or dull and tarnished? I would love to hear your thoughts and feelings on this..

Posted on by Beth 2