Holy Molely, Holy Cow, Holy Crow, Holy Smokes……….. There are so many expressions that use the word holy to start with and some of them are used in every day language such as the ones I have just stated. Mmmmm I wonder how that started? Then there are phrases like the Holy Grail, Holy Sacraments, Holy Days, Holy Bible, Holy Scriptures that are used to define something that is dedicated to God or is sacred in some way or other to a group of people based on their religious or spiritual beliefs.

Going on Retreat

The title of this piece came to me over the weekend when I was attending a three day silent retreat at the Loyola House Retreat Centre in Guelph, Ontario. It was a bit of tongue in cheek at first because the night I arrived at this very “holy place” I sensed a shift in my own energy just as I walked through the doors into the reception area. It was a tingling sensation throughout my body. I was not expecting to have such a visceral experience upon arrival. I was both excited and a bit nervous so my tendency was to find humour in the experience to lessen the tension. It worked. I was laughing with myself as I walked around wondering what it was I was going to see or feel during my stay there.

I have been on Spiritual Retreats before and had positive experiences. This time was different though. I was coming with a particular question in my heart and mind because I have been having a strong feeling for some time that I was meant to be there at that particular retreat. So the obvious question was “Why Am I here?” The other questions that were popping up for me were “What are my gifts? and Where and How am I to best share them?”

Answering a Call

I have been feeling called to some sort of service since the beginning of the year and yet what that looked like was very vague and obscure to me. So I retreated to see if I could quiet my busy mind and calm my inflated ego long enough to get some answers to my questions. It is important to me that I bring Love and Compassion into the world along with Gratitude and Humility. So I am learning how to do that one day and one step at a time.

The thing is nothing really miraculous happened to me while I was there. At least nothing that seemed that out of the ordinary to me. I found myself sleeping a lot and dreaming a lot. Somehow I was being summoned to speak up and tell my story. That is hard to do at a silent retreat. Still I was listening and paying attention and asking where? tell who? what stories? I did a lot of praying during my quiet time on my own. I also did a lot on inner listening waiting for a sign or words that would point me in the right direction.

Personal Awakening

On Saturday afternoon about half way through the retreat, I took myself into the lounge area and sat down on a big red chair facing a large window that overlooked a garden with three statues. The statue of a woman standing with her arms out stretched grabbed my attention. I closed my eyes and sat quietly holding the image in my mind. What I experienced next was a laying on of hands. I was sitting with my eyes closed and felt these warm hands on my head. There was a rush of energy that flowed through my entire body right down to my feet and into the floor. It was same sensation I felt when I walked in the door on the first night. I immediately opened my eyes to see who was standing there touching me and no one was there. I was all alone in the room. This time I did not laugh it off. I simply said Thank You. It was a gift I had been given and I had a sense this gift was meant to be shared.

The Gift

I had a strong sense where the gift came from because I had been praying for a sign from God/Goddess to show me why I was there. The retreat was titled Living in the Heart of Jesus. I knew then that Jesus was standing there with me and I was feeling his compassionate, loving heart energy. It was that simple and that profound for me to be able to embody that love so quickly and with such a complete assurance that I was in the right place at the right time. I was an open vessel ready to receive the gift. I was being called out into the world to be a conduit of that grace and love and to bring that energy with me wherever I go and in whatever I do. There were no words exchanged and no messages to impart. It was just a gentle touch and I knew how I needed to be. There was no demand or command to do anything in particular. It was simply about doing everything with Love and Compassion and being Love in the world.

So Yes indeed Holy, Holy, Holy. May Peace find you wherever you are and may Love be your constant companion. Blessed Be.