I look around the room and what do I see?  An unmade bed, clothes piled on the chair and draped over the bench.  Dishes in the sink and scattered around the room, dirty clothes sorted and piled on the floor waiting to be laundered and Teddy bears on the chair.  

If I didn’t know better I would presume that I had walked into the room of an adolescent.  The truth is though it is my own studio apartment I am looking at and I am almost seventy!  I am living with my adolescent self at the moment.  She is very rebellious and creative as well as moody at times.  She wants nothing more than to avoid housework. When growing up she was used to having her mother do it for her and so is not motivated to look after it herself.  

At the same time, she is very creative.  She loves to write and play with art materials.  She loves putting together outfits that are stylish and comfortable.  She also loves spending time with friends and sharing some good food.  One of my favourite things to do as a teenager was go to the local restaurant after school with my friends and order a Coke with a plate of French fries and gravy.  I found myself drawn into a diner a few weeks ago and placed that very order.  It was so satisfying.  

What in the world has brought this young part of me out again? I like her in so many ways, still my mother self needs her to clean up the place and bring order back into my life.  Mothering myself is a good way to use my energy in a positive way.  I need good mother messages right now.  I can remember my mother often commenting on how nice I looked when she picked me up from work or how much she liked the way I decorated my home when she came to visit after I was married.

As fun as it can be to live with my adolescent it is not good for her to be in charge all the time.  I am best to stay present as the older woman I am and keep my life moving forward in the most positive ways possible. Then again maybe the older one is having fun just letting go of all the responsibilities for now and having the freedom to be sloppy and carefree. I will eventually clean up because truthfully I feel better when everything is clean and orderly.  So for now here’s to allowing all the many parts of ourselves to shine in their own light.  We are the sum of all our parts.